


It's Only You

by AudibleEllipsis



Category: Deltarune (Video Game)
Genre: Enemies to Friends, Gender-Neutral Kris (Deltarune), I promise it's not all dark, Identity Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Susie Swears
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2019-09-20 01:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17012697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AudibleEllipsis/pseuds/AudibleEllipsis
Summary: Kris has always been themselves, for better or for worse. A story about choices mattering, where an outside SOUL never interfered.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Going through Deltarune, I really adored the character of Kris that we got to see, so I wanted to put something simple and self-indulgent together, with the promise of much greater dialogue/plot divergence starting next chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

Morning light bled across the horizon, edging past the curtains and into the room. What had started as a sliver of white was now a broad band of gold across the doorway. Kris’ eyes burned, having watched it all the while. Sleep had not seen fit to visit them, or, if it had, then it must have come only in merciful minutes between blinks. The sort of thing their body took when it could, knowing better.

Toriel entered the room, not knocking, and gave a warning about being late. Kris gave no response. She hesitated, then crossed the room, throwing open the curtains and flooding it with light. Kris screwed their eyes shut, looking away. Toriel made no further comment, but as she left, Kris thought she looked tired, too.

The glow in the dark stars plastered across the ceiling finally dimmed in the new light, and for that much, Kris was grateful. Kris had wanted them gone as soon as Asriel left, thinking they made it difficult to sleep, but Toriel insisted they stay. The room needed to stay _“just the way it was”_ , she said, in case he decided to come back early.

Kris took in a dry breath.

Time had passed, but the excuse just changed. Now _“He’ll be coming home soon, and will want to return to something familiar.”_ It was sort of funny, though. They couldn’t remember having hated them so much when he was still there.

Kris squeezed the covers between their palms, then let go, swinging out and ambling into the hall. It was out of the way, but they made sure to stop in front of the mirror and look. The clothes they were wearing had been slept in for three days now, and it showed. They pushed back their long, greasy hair with clammy hands, and started to stare.

When they’d first started looking at themselves so intensely, they’d probably still been hoping to grow horns, or patches of fur. Now, they wanted nothing of the sort. It was stupid, they knew, but Kris hoped that, if they wanted it enough, then one day they’d wake up as another person. A stranger to their own body. They’d take anyone, really, so long as that person had nothing to do with their family.

All that ever greeted them, though, were their own lifeless, pallid red eyes.

Kris swallowed nothing, and drank deep from the thoughts that came. Comparisons, mostly. Between themselves, and others. From strangers, from ‘friends’. From themselves. In the end, they knew the truth, that they’d never measure up to the people around them. That whatever they did, it would be disappointing by comparison. In the end...

_It’s only you._

Kris stepped away. They felt nauseous, and their heart was beating faster than it had any right to. 

_One more day. “Just wait one more day.”_

Their brother had asked them to promise that on days like this, they’d wait until the next one to do anything. They were too young to realize then that meant they’d have to wait until the day after that too, and so on, but it had stopped them before. Kris moved down the stairs, and thought on the promise. Maybe tomorrow, they’d know if it was worth it to keep waiting.

* * *

When Kris arrived at school with Toriel, they let her lead them by the hand and, when it was time for the two to part, they let her hug them, too. Kris didn’t particularly enjoy the sensation, the squeezing, but knew that Toriel did. So they let her. It didn’t require any effort on their part, so why not?

That, and it let them know that, despite everything, Toriel really did still love them. 

So that was something.

Kris watched as she walked away, then turned their thoughts outwards. To the greenness of the lockers, and the dust in the air. To the hedges outside, then a few more things. It took a long minute, but they were ready for class.

Upon entering, Alphys gave a surprised greeting and introduced the idea of a month-long group project. Kris scanned the room, needing a partner. With any luck, the odd number of students meant they wouldn’t somehow be partnered with the only absent one.

MK was always fun, in their own, weird way, but then, they were also obviously already taken. Snowy was hard at work launching ill-conceived punchline after punchline the spiked monster’s way, and their struggling smile told Kris everything they cared to know. Briefly, the human wondered what the two would come up with that required no hands.

Jockington and Bratti would already be partnered, of course, Tem had her egg, and Kris would sooner go back to church than spend a month with Berdly.

So that left Noelle.

For all the mean things they’d said and done to her, Noelle was still surprisingly nice to them. At first, Kris thought it was just an act, but even when the two were alone, she still smiled their way, and sometimes even offered help. They weren’t entirely convinced yet, but lately they’d found it much harder to think her kindness was ever the result of pity.

That in mind, Kris moved to her desk, and put on a small smile.

“Partners?” They asked simply. 

“Umm…” Noelle began, quiet at first. “Sorry, Berdly already asked me.”

_Of course._

“But, I could ask Ms. Alphys if we could make a group of 3!”

Kris thought about it a moment, then nodded. The two of them together would be able to outvote any of Berdly’s more asinine suggestions.

“Miss Alphys!” Noelle called. “Umm.. is it okay if we have a group of 3?”

“Hey!” Berdly squawked, looking up from next week’s homework. “What? No! I do not approve of this! ABORT!!”

“What?” Noelle responded. “B-but Kris doesn’t have a…”

Alphys finally looked up from her phone. “Noelle, what were you saying?”

Berdly perked up. “She was just saying we’re _fine_ being alone!”

“A-actually, I just wanted to know if…”

“Noelle, can you PLEASE SPEAK UP?” Alphys practically shouted. Kris frowned.

“Noelle wanted to know if--” They began, when the door flew open. It slammed with a thud against the wall, and silenced the room. 

Susie was here.

“h... hi, susie.” Alphys’ turn to be cowed. 

_Good._

Susie’s snout made the way she was facing distinct-- towards the class-- but not where she was looking. Beneath those unkempt bangs, her eyes could have been on anyone. Kris supposed they were alike, at least in that way.

“... am I late?” She asked.

“Ohh, n-no!” Alphys stuttered out. “You’re fine! W-we were just, uh, ch-choosing partners for the next group project and… umm, Susie, you’re with Kris!”

“... great.” Susie responded. Kris didn’t feel dissimilar, but sat down anyways.

In an attempt to regain the composure she never had, Alphys declared she’d write down the assignment now. She moved to the chalkboard, but found no chalk to write with. It was the third time this week, as she noted. Kris narrowed their eyes, and supposed that she couldn’t possibly move on without it. Direct communication simply wasn’t her style.

“H-How about this?” Alphys began, an arrogant smile playing across her lips. “If no one speaks up… E-everyone gets in trouble!”

Kris found it altogether more likely that Alphys had simply misplaced the chalk, but three times in quick succession might have meant someone was actually messing with her. They’d thought of taking it themselves, seeing how affected she was the first time, but it had been too long since their last prank. They weren’t confident in their sleight of hand any more.

Regardless of who’d taken it, or if anyone even had at all, Alphys wouldn’t be getting an admission. She was a coward, and everyone knew her threat was empty.

“A… Anyone? P… please?” She asked again.

“Hey,” Noelle spoke up. “There might be a box in the supply closet. Miss Alphys, why don’t Susie and I--”

“G-good idea, Noelle!” Alphys interrupted. “Susie, s-since you came in last, why don’t you go get it for me?”

Susie paused. Alphys shuffled.

“... Whatever.” Came Susie’s eventual reply. 

“And K… Kris…” Alphys continued. “Can you go with her and make sure she um, actually gets it? And, um, stays out of trouble...? Thanks Kris! See you later!”

_Anything to get rid of the weird kids, huh?_

As Kris moved to the door, they felt the eyes of the entire class on their back, and when they left, they felt some tension leaving with them.

The door clicked shut quietly behind them, more as a result of not pulling very hard than any deliberate attempt to be quiet. Susie was already halfway down the hall, digging through one of her dirty coat’s pockets. She pulled something small and white loose, and before Kris realized what it was, she was already chomping down hard on it. The sound of her munching echoed faintly through the hall, and caused Kris to smile.

Knowing someone else thought messing with Alphys was worth it made them happier than they cared to admit. A few seconds later, she turned around, and made what probably passed for eye contact between the two.

“... Kris.” She shared their smiled, then looked away. “Didn’t see you there... You didn’t see anything just now, did you?”

“Nope.” They answered.

If anyone was going to get Susie in trouble, it wasn’t going to be them. Aside from what they’d just seen, Susie was useful. She was someone more pressing than them for the class to focus on, and that kept their family from coming up as often as it could. 

“... Kris.” Susie turned back to them. And then, step by step, came forward, until she was only a few inches away from them. Her movements were deliberate, distinct, and her smile never faded. The two of them were very, very different kids. She towered over them by a little more than a foot, and the difference in their musculature was almost laughable. Still, Kris wasn’t afraid. They were a human, and by their reckoning, that made them stronger than any monster.

“Hey.” She put a hand on their left shoulder, squeezing. Kris looked at it curiously. “Let me tell you a secret.”

She squeezed harder, gripping, and Kris could already feel bruising as she continued to crush it. Suddenly, they were lifted into the air, and Susie took the last few steps needed to reach the lockers, slamming Kris into them.

“Liars _piss me off_. You think I can’t tell _exactly_ what you’re thinking?”

Kris kept their eyes low, trying to hide their excitement. Susie didn’t notice, if she even cared at all, going on about how she’d be expelled for eating the chalk. Kris felt it was unreasonable to expect that kind of cruelty from monsters, but then, what did they know? Maybe they’d treat someone who wasn’t a teacher’s kid differently.

Kris flexed the power within them, reaching for their SAVE. They wondered, if something went wrong, how far back would they be sent? But their effort returned nothing. _Odd._ They reached further, to a month ago. Nothing. Two months. Three. Four. Nothing. They strained. A year? Nothing. Fear spiked through them. Had it really been that long since they last felt powerful enough to SAVE?

“Haha… come on, Kris.” Susie said. “Don’t act shocked. You know it’s true.”

Shocked. Was that how they looked?

“Everyone’s waiting for it. Everyone wants it. So congrats, Kris. You got me. I’m done for.”

Kris blinked, and realized with a start that the world was still in color. Susie hadn’t actually started a FIGHT, and so long as she kept things entirely physical, Kris didn’t know what they could do to fight back. They had a pencil, but that was a pathetic weapon even by monster standards. And it was in their left pocket. If they tried to reach across for it, she’d definitely stop them.

“Just. Lemme say one little thing. Seems like a waste to get expelled just for having a snack.”

Fear turned to panic. They needed to SAVE. Kris mustered what power was left to them, and achieved nothing. Desperate, they thought of darker things, of what a human could do to a monster without even meaning to. They tried again, and only felt tired. With hesitance, they understood. The truth was that there was no power in their situation. They’d only succeeded in deluding themselves.

_… ACT!_

“So,” Kris asked. “You’re going to cut me a deal?” At best, they sounded hopeful. At worst, genuinely afraid.

“No, Kris. If I know you’re gonna pull the trigger…” Susie chuckled. “Why don’t I just get expelled for some REAL carnage? Kris… how do you feel…”

Susie snarled, and curled her lips back to achieve a wicked grin. She shifted forward, bringing her absurdly sharp teeth closer, and for the first time that day, Kris could see into her eyes. They stared, and saw reflected the same kind of fire that they used to get. The feeling that came with being the most powerful thing in the room. Her arm was shaking now. Kris attributed it to nervous energy.

“About losing _your face_?”

Blood rushed to their ears and as she inched closer, they could smell her breath. Kris felt like laughing. It smelled like chalk.

But then, she paused. And dropped them. Unceremoniously, Kris thudded against the ground, crumpling against the lockers. Susie frowned, and tilted her head away.

“Nah.” She mumbled. Kris held onto an arm, and realized how badly they’d been shaking. “Kris. You’ve got a good mother. It’d be a shame to maker her bury her own kid.”

_… Of course._

The tension building within Kris began to escape, bubbling over as laughter. It was a strange noise, even to them. Something raspy and unnatural.

_Of course!_

For a moment, just for a moment, Kris thought that they were actually going to die. That for every day they’d ever trained with their brother, for every painful test of their SOUL’s limits, none of it would have mattered. Their entire miserable life would’ve been plucked away in seconds, and why were they spared? Because their mother was a good person. 

“Uh, Kris?”

Even worse than that, though, was knowing that if they’d just been more like him-- like their brother-- then it never would’ve come to that. He’d have had the right words. He’d have gotten out on his own, and somehow made a new friend doing it.

“... Kris?”

It would’ve been at the last second, too. He’d have made a joke about the chalk and done it all with that stupid fucking smile of his. Everything just came so easily to him, but they still struggled to feel a single thread of real connection with anyone; to anything!

“Kris!” Susie shouted. Her hands were on their shoulders again, and instinctively Kris shrunk away. “Are you…?”

With great shame, Kris realized they’d been crying.

_When-- no, for_ what _? For me? What a joke._

“Hey,” Susie started, a massive purple hand in her dark brown hair. “I… let’s just get the chalk, arright?”

_God, how pathetic._ Their would-be killer was pitying them.

Kris got up, and wiped once at their eyes with the sleeves of their sweater. The tears shored, and they managed something that sounded like “yeah”.

Susie didn’t say anything else, just tucked her hands away in her coat pockets. She wasn’t standing as straight any more.

Before moving forward, Kris stole a glance at the classroom. The window was too heavily frosted to make anything out for sure, but it looked like no one had even heard what happened. They couldn’t help wondering who’d have found them first.

The trip to the supply closet wasn’t long. Susie muttered something about arriving. She reached out to one of the double doors when they flew open of their own accord, some force like wind blowing past the two of them and pushing back their hair. Darkness crept from the entrance, dulling the lights and making day look like night. Susie turned uneasily to Kris, eyes visible again.

“Hey, Kris?” She began, but Kris was already inside. “Uhh…?” 

Inside was nothing as far as the eye couldn’t see. That, and a line of papers scattered across the floor. Not what Kris remembered, exactly, but they weren’t going to stop moving. They wanted to put themselves as far away from the simpering thing they were a minute ago as possible.

Footsteps sounded behind them, but they didn’t bother to check whose. Susie’s voice confirmed their hopes soon anyways. “... Oh. It’s nothing but old papers. Let’s try to find a light switch.”

The ground beneath them was no longer visible. Their steps made no noise. Kris reached out, and felt no walls. No shelves, no purchase, nothing. They must have been fifty feet in when Susie spoke again.

“Hey, Kris. I think this closet’s, uh… broken.” The awkward hints of a joke clung to her voice. She was far away. “There aren’t any walls.”

Kris turned, and looked back to her.

“Come on.” Her smile was uneasy. “We’ve worked hard enough. If Alphys wants chalk so bad, she can get it herself.”

“... Right.”

Kris let Susie walk back first. Neither of them had deviated from the line the papers set out. What doing so would mean they had no idea, and no intentions of finding out.

Almost predictably, as soon as the two returned to the doors, they closed shut. Susie shouted something at whoever might be past the door, but Kris wasn’t sure there was a point. Even the outline of the door had already faded.

Slowly, something began to shift. It was an almost imperceptible thing, like the tremors of a car in motion. Then, one by one, the papers they’d been standing on began to fall away. The two backed as far away as they could before falling to the darkness themselves. Susie reached out to where the door was one last time, and shouted again. Kris might have done the same, if they hadn’t already accepted death once today.

They were tired, and as they fell limply through the dark, Kris wondered if a single thing they’d ever done had mattered.


	2. Chapter 2

_“Is that all you’ve got?” Asriel goaded, standing atop a hill. “Come on Kris, I know you can do better than that!” Kris had failed to move him from his spot for the better part of ten minutes, and only had enough in them for one more attempt. Their heart heaved with effort and their legs burned, but still, they’d try their best. He deserved nothing less._

_“I’ll show you better!” Kris huffed, running forward. Asriel smiled, and readied another round of lightning. Warning signs displayed clearly across the ground in a nearly square pattern surrounding Kris. Only one opening was left to them, made as far away as possible. If they diverted course immediately, they’d be able to make it, but would be forced into his game. Asriel determined the pace, and if they kept playing like this, they’d never get any closer._

_No more._

_At full tilt, Kris sprinted forward. Lightning cracked over them, but their power flexed, making the damage negligible. As they’d predicted, the next square had already formed around the opening Asriel left. Twenty feet of open air was all that separated the two now. They'd managed to surprise him._

_Eternally capable, Asriel’s sabers appeared with a flash, but it was too late. Kris leapt from below and tackled him to the ground, momentum carrying them forward. With a hard ‘oof’, the two rolled downhill until coming to a stop with Kris on top, pinning their brothers arms._

_“Gotcha.” Kris managed between breaths. Pride, genuine pride, swelled within them._

_Asriel laughed, then shrugged free easily. “Yeah, I guess you did. Now come on, you’re gonna sweat all over me.” The world returned to color, and he pushed them away. Kris was ready to collapse, but managed to stubbornly stay upright. Their brother was hardly winded. It almost wasn’t fair; his magic had always been so impressive, and it was like he never ran out of energy._

_Time passed. A moment. A minute. Two. The sun was bright, and the breeze plentiful. Clouds too fluffy to have not come from picture books floated along in a perfectly blue sky. It was too nice a day for goodbyes._

_“You’re leaving soon.” They blurted out._

_“... Yeah.”_

_Kris swallowed. “Congratulations.”_

_“Hey, it won’t be for long. A few years will be over before you know it!” He tried to reassure them. It didn’t work._

_Asriel hesitated, then placed a hand on Kris’ shoulder. They didn’t shrug it off. He pulled them closer, and hugged them. They didn’t push away. “I’m so proud of you, Kris.”_

_“... Mhm.” It shouldn’t have hurt to hear that._

_“Can you make me a promise, Kris?” He waited, they said nothing. “Promise that, whenever you’re not feeling good, you’ll wait a day to do anything. Just wait one more day... Can you do that for me?”_

_A few years, one more day. They could wait. “Okay.”_

_“Thanks, Kris. It means the world to me.”_

_They would have to._

* * *

Kris awoke to the sound of wind. They were cold, and felt heavy. The world was dark; black without border or peer stretched in every direction, save the platform they’d fallen onto and the rock-faces that connected. In the distance, two geysers of something only slightly less dismal erupted into the sky, climbing far enough to become pinpricks against the dark. Kris couldn’t help but wonder if they’d fallen into hell.

_… It’s not tomorrow yet._

With a surprising amount of energy, Kris pushed off the rubble beneath to sit up, and was greeted by an unfamiliar texture. Gloves, thick and leather, now covered their hands. Looking over themselves, much more than gloves had changed.

Their skin and hair were blue now, though felt no different. Across their chest hung a silver breastplate with pauldrons, and beneath that a cloth underlay hugged their body tightly. It felt awkward at best, and didn’t even cover their arms. They had a striped cape of some kind, but it wasn’t doing them any favors. Mostly, its pattern just made Kris miss their sweater.

_God I hope hell has better clothes._

Kris searched until they found a rock jagged enough to rip the cape on and, with liberal use of force, managed to tear it into three scraps long enough to wrap around their neck and forearms. It was no sweater, but if they wanted better, they’d have to find it.

Eyes scored the walls where Kris walked, geometrically even shapes carved inches deep, some leaking a black fluid that failed to reflect light. On lonely crags far away, thin white shapes with bulbous tops and wide pedestals warbled, moving only when Kris passed them. It was a strange noise, but they were glad to have something beside their steps accompanying the wind.

Atop a plateau, Kris was afforded a better view of the nearest geyser. They could see now that it ascended from a castle of shadows far below, and that between it and the mountainside was what looked to be a small town of crooked buildings. Instinctively, Kris’ eyes latched onto the geyser again. A small tug acted on their SOUL. Something deep within them wanted to witness the monument for itself.

_Strange… ACT > Check > Kris._

Checking was old magic invented to help monsters tell when they were close to ‘falling down’. Its uses extended far past that, of course, but what mattered to Kris was that it was simple magic. The sort of thing even a human would find hard to get wrong. So, upon seeing numbers that had to be, Kris was suddenly much less at peace with their surroundings.

**Kris. 70 HP. LV1 Human. Attack 10, Defense 2, Magic 1. Power hides within you.**

It had to be wrong. Human HP didn’t even go that high, and to even approach an ATK stat like that, Kris would have to have been much, much madder than they were. They didn’t even have a good weapon.

Kris’ eyes returned to the geyser. Not on purpose, it just happened while they were thinking. They began to stare. Maybe, the numbers weren’t wrong. Maybe they really were that strong now. Kris could swear, looking so intently at that inky substance, that it had begun to pulse in rhythm with their own heartbeat.

For the first time since falling, Kris reached out for the power within them, and found that they hardly had to do that. If it were a physical process, it would be as if all they had to do was flex their pinky to touch it. A wellspring had opened within them, in a size and manner they’d never felt before. Eager to use it, Kris reached out with one hand, and tried to create a new SAVE. It worked instantly, and after just as many seconds, brought regret.

In the time they’d taken for asinine theatrics, Kris had failed to consider that their previous SAVE may have been the only way back. It wasn’t a matter they’d expected to confront again so soon, but maybe now it didn’t matter. Maybe now it was something they could put off thinking about forever, because what had been done was irreversible. And, maybe, it was just as well that they’d condemned themselves to a place like this. 

At least here they had power.

_… Does it matter, if there’s no one to use it on?_

“KRIS!”

The voice was distant, but there was no mistaking it. Susie had fallen with them. Somehow, they hadn’t even considered the possibility. Kris began to walk again, this time, with purpose.

* * *

From above, Kris could see Susie pacing on a long, flat stretch of rock where piles of wispy matter taller than either of them crowded the surface. To their left was likely the way Susie had come from, and if that was the case, it was no wonder they hadn’t seen her before now. Her path was at least fifty feet taller just at its end-point.

Kris slid down the most silted part of the cliff, and Susie snapped to the noise. Her hair, skin, and attire had also become completely different. It was easy to see she was on edge.

“K-Kris?” She asked.

“Yeah.” Kris answered. With that confirmation, most of her fear seemed to fall away.

“Why didn’t you yell back, asshole?” And was immediately replaced by anger.

“I…” The truth was, they weren’t sure they could yell that loud. It wasn’t like they talked a lot, and their throat was already starting to hurt. But that was a weak answer, for a weaker person. “Were you _worried_ about me?”

“Of course not.” Susie shot back, frowning. “It’s just… this place is weird. Who knows? You might’ve been a zombie or somethin’.” She looked away, then continued, giving them no room for response. “Anyways, we gotta find a way outta here. Wherever… ‘here’ is.”

Kris shrugged, and came closer. “Hell, probably.”

“No way.” Susie began walking onwards. “You think we’d be the only people here if this was hell?”

“I don’t think we’re alone.” Kris contemplated speeding their pace to walk in front of her, but came to the conclusion that it would just look like they were trying too hard.

“Yeah?”

“There’s a town at the bottom of the mountain. You can’t see it from here, but past that is a castle, too. It’s where that geyser is coming from.” Kris pointed.

“... Why would there be a castle in a supply closet?” Susie asked, more to herself than anyone else.

For a while, silence reigned. Kris and Susie’s steps fell together, and, for a moment, Kris could almost forget that she’d threatened their life thirty minutes ago. Almost. They were powerful now, but their confidence had been shaken. Maybe Susie had gotten stronger, too. The possibility ate away at Kris' thoughts.

_I have to know..._

“Hey, Susie.” She didn’t turn around. “Have you--”

“Hold up.” She stopped walking. Her snout was turned up to a platform beside them. Kris purposefully didn’t look. They wouldn’t let her get the advantage in conversations. “There’s someo--”

“No, _you_ hold up.” Kris brushed aside their hair, showing her indignant eyes. “I’m asking you a question.” She looked back, confused.

“Dude, I’m just tryin’ to--” The air whistled as two projectiles collided into Kris’ back. Both dealt nine damage, enough to make them stagger forward. If they were on their previous HP, the unexpected impact would have been enough to leave them on death’s door. Susie knew what a LV1 human’s HP was, because all monsters had to, so while it was only concern and alarm in her eyes, Kris still managed to interpret it as pity.

She grabbed them by the wrist and yanked them closer, moving quickly to tuck an arm around their chest and lift them.

“What are you doing!” Kris shouted, already making efforts to get free.

“Saving your life, dumbass!” Susie returned, now running forward. _God_ damn it _, she's strong._

From above, projectiles that looked significantly slower than the ones that must have hit them began to rain down. They were in the shape of heavily rounded spades, fat shapes about as large as Kris’ torso. What whoever was firing had traded out in speed was certainly making up for in number. Not even Asriel could’ve made so many bullets at once.

_Can’t break free myself? Fine._

Kris gathered power, and found again the intoxicating ease with which it came forward. They directed it to their legs and kicked at the back of Susie’s knee. She jerked forward and dropped them. Kris’ armor clanked against the hard ground and, momentum bleeding, they rolled a few times before coming to a stop. Susie, on one knee, turned to look at them.

“What the hell is wrong with you!?” Susie was doing her best to keep an eye on the projectiles and them at the same time, getting grazed in the process.

"Don't you _dare_ look down on me! I'm strong enough to do this on my own!” Kris answered, hammering a fist to the ground before rising quickly. Susie was back on her feet, beyond frustrated.

“Fine, you’ve got a death wish? See what I care!” And blitzed ahead.

The run from there was long, but Kris had practiced for exactly this sort of thing. At the end of the road, Susie was still waiting for them, legs crouched and ready to slide down another drop. She made eye contact once, then jumped. It would be a massive fall to take, and looked to take them all the way to the bottom of the mountain. Her greater weight carried her down farther and faster, Kris trailing behind, spades still following both of them.

Momentum speeding them on, Kris’ gut began to rise to their throat. It was becoming harder and harder to keep traction against the mountainside without jutting forward and tumbling off. Tears jerked from their eyes. Blood pressure increasing, their brain was beginning to get less and less oxygen. They were rapidly arriving at the bottom, but how were they going to slow down? Consciousness slipping away under incoherent thoughts, Kris realized that was a question they’d have to leave to instinct. Light surrounded them as they drew on the power of this place, and after a thud, slipped away. Kris heard nothing else before falling unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit shorter, but with how much dialogue is coming up, it felt like a good stopping point. Hope you enjoyed it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The main reason I'm writing this is Kris, but I'd be remiss to ignore Susie. I'm really proud of a lot of stuff in this one, so I hope you enjoy it.

“Idiot! Moron! Asshole!” In the absence of, apparently anyone, Susie had taken to thrashing scattered bushes around town square with a fallen branch. It seemed stupid to call it a square when it was obviously a circle, but Susie was pretty sure that was just the way things were. And she’d better get comfy, too, because it wasn’t like she could return with an unconscious, stupid, angry, dumb, stupid Kris.

They could have died back there, didn’t they get that? Sure, she’d threatened to kill them herself, but it wasn’t like she was actually gonna do it. She just wanted to scare them, put some life into those dull, dead eyes of theirs, and make them too afraid to not shut up and do the project all by themselves. Now they were unconscious in a heap, cold, but breathing.

And, being expelled would have sucked, but it wasn’t getting kicked out that Susie cared about. She didn’t understand why, but it seemed like everyone had decided she was the odd one out. Maybe it was her size, or her teeth. Maybe it was the way she couldn’t afford to bring better clothes to school, like that always-just-ironed-polo wearing bastard Berdly, or million-hand-woven sweaters Noelle. Maybe she wasn’t sympathetic enough. She didn’t fall on her face all the time, and she didn’t think a hard-boiled egg was going to hatch any time soon, so maybe everyone figured she didn’t need the time or attention.

Whatever the reason, being expelled would have only been confirmation of the thing Susie was really afraid of: That no one wanted her around. So long as it never got that bad, she could still tell herself it was all just coincidence. A mix of thoughtlessness from the semi-strangers she shared every day with, and her own personal failure to interpret actions with obvious meanings positively. Whatever helped make it feel a little less personal.

At some point, the stick broke, and caused Susie to snap back to reality. She was out of breath, and no less hungry than when the day began. _Food._ If it was anywhere, it had to be in the building labeled ‘Inn’. All the doors in town were locked, including that one, and while there were windows to look inside, they must have just been painted on or something, because she couldn’t see a damn thing through them. The etherealness of this place was starting to get on her nerves.

She couldn’t tell exactly what the weird, wilted building was made out of, but it felt kind of like wood, and didn’t sound too thick when knocked on, so with enough force, Susie figured she could just bust the door down. There was a chance she was missing a puzzle that opened the door for her, but if so, she’d still rather brute past it. Noelle said once in a presentation that the point of a puzzle was to have fun, but Susie didn’t see it. If you fucked one up, everyone would just know how stupid you were. What kind of dumb pastime was that?

Susie put some distance between herself and the inn, then charged ahead, meeting her right shoulder square with the center of the door.

“ _OW_ \-- Fffmph…!” A mighty thud carried past the square, but the door hadn’t budged. Susie slid down, making exasperated noises and clutching at her now well-bruised shoulder. _What the hell… Wasn’t that just like in the movies?_ She’d expected the door to split into a million pieces, not her shoulder. And of course, since she didn’t know any healing magic, this pain was just another thing on the long list of problems she had to deal with now.

Susie’s frustration hit peak.

“THIS PLACE _SUCKS_!” She shouted, to no one again. “You suck, door, you hear me! You’re the worst door I’ve ever met! What kind of dumbass door doesn’t even know how to open when you turn the handle!?”

Susie hammered her fist to the door, but it didn’t help. Usually by now she’d have blamed someone for the way things were and moved on, but the only targets she had for now were Kris, a door, and herself. If she hadn’t seen those tears, it would’ve been easy to blame everything on Kris, but after that, she just didn’t have it in her.

Hometown was a small town, and that meant that unless you wanted your business to be everyone’s business, you kept it real, real close, and never let go. Kris’ parents, Susie guessed, never saw the need to keep things close. She’d overheard Berdly talking about the whole ordeal a couple times, and it sounded rough, but she’d never have guessed Kris was even affected by it until today.

Those tears weren’t just about their parents, or whatever other things people never told her about, but everything. They were the sort of tears you cried when everything was wrong, and there was nothing you could do. They were ugly and gross, undignified and pointless, but still, you had to cry ‘em. Susie knew, because she’d cried that way a few times, too. 

So, for a moment, she thought that maybe someone else had had it rough, and that while she’d been so focused on making sure nothing hurt her, there’d been someone else right next to her doing the same exact thing.

Maybe one last time, she’d put the effort into making a friend with some common ground. After all, she’d never seen Kris hanging out with the other kids either. But, then all this happened, and so far Kris had been nothing but a Grade A Tool. Of course, she hadn’t been so great herself. In competition for greatest understatement of the year, threatening to eat someone’s face was probably not the best way to start a relationship. Even without that, it was her fault they were stuck here. She was the one who took the chalk, so it was her fault they had to go get some, even if Kris hadn’t realized that yet.

_… Too much thinking, not enough doing._

Susie stood up, pushed away her useless thoughts, and sent a glare the door’s way that might’ve hurt a lesser monster. Blame was easy, but it wasn’t gonna fill her stomach or get Kris back on their feet. Puzzles might not have been her strong suit, but she knew magic damn well. When spades guy attacked earlier, the world didn’t lose color. That meant magic, or at least FIGHTs, worked differently here. There was a chance, then, that her magic could affect the physical world too now, and not just animate targets. 

Standing there, Susie expected to be thinking about the best way to bust down a door for a while. The solution, though, came naturally. Without knowing exactly why, she reared back her hands, open, as if to hold something, and found smooth wood appearing between her now tightened grip. At the head of the haft was a righteous ax, as long as her head and taller still. Its wedge was dull, but Susie felt that suited her. Sharpness didn’t matter when, with enough effort, you could drive through any problem.

Susie reached back a little further than felt right, straining her hurt shoulder. It would be worth it, she thought, to make sure the door felt what she did. She shouted in pre-emptive victory and, all at once, her muscles worked to swing the ax in a horizontal chop. Mid-motion, a high-pitched shout came from nearby and caused her grip to slip. Trying to get ahold of it again, her shoulder tweaked. Afraid of hurting herself further, Susie let go entirely, only to see the ax flying head height toward a monstrous figure in a mint-green robe and hat with a long, pink scarf. She shouted something like “duck”, and either because of her cry or their own instinct, they did. The ax missed their head, thankfully, but tore their hat clean off. Free from shadows, Susie could see now that the figure was a goat with white fur and red horns.

Still crouched, the figure blinked. A moment passed. Susie took a breath, and let some of her adrenaline fade before speaking up.

“What the hell is wrong with you!?” It wasn’t a nice way to ask if they were okay. In fact, it wasn’t a way of asking that at all. Maybe she’d get to it later.

“Oh, s-sorry, I was just uh, so excited to meet you!” The goat spoke, their excitement growing by the word. “I was going to wait at my castle to greet you, but I heard some noises coming from town and thought, ‘Wow, maybe they’re here!’ I’ve been waiting for so long to--”

“ _Whoa,_ ” Susie interrupted. They stopped immediately, and gained a pleasant smile. _I almost chopped their head off and they’re apologizing to_ me _?_ “Slow down, ‘kay? You know what this place is?”

“O-Oh, of course! Wherever are my manners?” They tapped a few clawed fingers together. “I am Ralsei, Prince of this Kingdom. Right now, you are in the Kingdom of Darkness, my home!”

“... Has to have people to make it a kingdom, right?" Susie looked around again. "Where is everyone?”

“There… isn’t anyone else.” Ralsei’s smile wilted, and he became sheepish. “I’m a Prince, but, currently I, um, have no subjects. I’ve been waiting my whole life for you two to arrive, so, I hope we can become good friends!”

Susie took a while to digest those words. “... Your whole _life_?” She didn’t want to trust anything so soon, but he sounded genuine. And, it was a sad thing, too. To think that someone had been waiting their whole life, just for her of all people. “Must be disappointed, huh?” Again, it wasn’t a nice way of saying ‘sorry to hear’, or even ‘thanks’, but it seemed she couldn’t say anything right today.

A beat passed, and his brow furrowed in naive confusion.

“Why would I be?” He half-laughed, looking her up and down. “You look incredible, Susie!”

He was so, damn, excited. Susie couldn’t help the smile that came. If he was lying, he was very good at it. There was the part where he knew her name before she said it, and that was sort of creepy, but realistically it made about as much sense as anything so far, so why not? Susie smiled, and then remembered his hat.

She moved past the Prince and walked a little ways before reaching down to get it. Her ax was nowhere to be found, but it had certainly left its mark. There was now a clean tear along the top, pointed section, which was crumpled over. Susie winced, feeling dumb for grabbing it with her hurt arm, and began to dust it off.

“Oh no, are you hurt?” Ralsei asked, concerned.

“It’s nothing.” She lied. 

“Here, let me help!” Susie began to object, but light was already spilling from him. He raised a hand in her direction, then the light came to her. The marks of her charge and every scrape from spades guy disappeared as warmth filled her. Healing magic was always pleasant, like a hug from someone you knew, or something equally cutesy she’d never say out loud. _I should thank him. Properly._ “... Thanks.” She had to be very careful to not say something awful, and she didn’t like that. “And, about your hat--”

“Don’t worry about it.” Ralsei extended a paw, and Susie gave it back. “I can always fix it later. For now, there are much more important things to do. Like, um, find Kris?” 

_Oh. Right._

“I guess you did say you did say two earlier, huh?” Susie scratched her chin. _Wait._ “Hang on. Someone attacked us earlier. If there’s no one else here, and that wasn’t you, who was it?”

“Goodness!” Ralsei gasped. He was so expressive it made her want to laugh. “Someone else is already here? I hadn’t expected that at all. Um, quickly, I must inform both of you of your great destiny! Take me to Kris!... uh, please.”

_Destiny?_ “Sure. They could use the help, if they’re not already up.” Susie thought a moment. “Just don’t tell them I said that.”

“It’ll be a secret between friends.” Ralsei made an imaginary zipper across his lips and chucked it away. Susie snorted, and lead the way. 

Maybe one last time, she’d put the effort into making a friend.

* * *

Everything was wrong. It so often was, but now especially. They felt cold again, and heard voices at the edge of their hearing.

“-- Think you could -- them, too?”

“Of -- Right away!”

The ground, was it spinning? Were they still falling? No, the ground was solid. They’d fallen. Their feeble mind was playing tricks. Kris clenched their hands, breathed, and then released. They dug fingers into the cold, dark dirt, wanting to move immediately. Then, warmth filled them, overcoming the cold and returning their senses. 

They remembered now. There was light. An impact. Then nothing.

“I’m alive.” Kris whispered.

“Barely.” Susie muttered. It was Susie they’d heard earlier. Kris looked up to see her, hands in her pockets, standing beside--

“-- Az?”

“... Sorry?” The goat asked with a delicate smile. _Of course not. Idiot._ He was much too young to be their brother. His horns were red, and his face was a little rounder, but besides that, the similarities were uncanny. He even sounded just like he did before he left.

“Forget it.” Kris said. “Did you heal me just now?”

“Yes, I did.” He nodded. “It’s so good to finally meet you, Kris!”

He wasn’t Az, Kris had to remind themselves, hearing his voice for the first time in years. It wasn’t him, Kris repeated, the edges of a smile carved involuntarily across their face. It was wrong, they thought one last time, to take solace in a stranger’s voice for reasons so impersonal. 

But, it felt good, too. “... Thanks.” Kris finally said.

Susie raised an eyebrow, and their not-brother beamed. _His name._

“What’s your name?” Kris asked.

“Oh, darn it!” He blushed, and covered his eyes with a paw. “I’m two for two now on not remembering my manners.” The goat regained composure, then continued. “I am Ralsei, Prince of this Kingdom, and, bearer of a great prophecy.”

“Ralsei.” Kris repeated. Susie folded her arms.

“Prophecy?” She asked.

“Yes.” Ralsei stepped back a few paces, then began to speak as if his every word was more important than the last. “Susie, Kris. There is a legend in this land. A legend that one day, two Heroes of Light will arrive, and fulfill the ancient prophecy foretold by time and space. Please, heroes, won’t you listen to my tale?”

_Heroes._

“Go on.” Kris urged. Susie’s growing concern hardly registered to them.

“Very well then…” Ralsei expounded upon his legend at length. He spoke of light, and dark. Of hopes, and dreams. His words were fantastic and his oration excellent. He spoke of a calamity so great that Kris was sure whatever image they’d conjured paled in comparison to the real thing. And, when all was said and done, he thanked them for listening to his tale.

“Susie, Kris.” Ralsei continued after a pause. “I deeply believe you two are the heroes of the legend. That despite whatever enemies you may face, you two have the courage to _save the world_. Delta Warriors! Please, won’t you accept your destiny?”

Kris’ smile widened. “Yes!”

“Uhh… No.” And then dropped.

“S-Susie?” Ralsei frowned. Kris barely noticed Susie’s flinch.

“What’s the matter?” Kris asked. 

“It’s, not that I don’t believe the prophecy exists or whatever, but.” She paused, thinking carefully. “We’re _not_ heroes, Kris. Whoever that human and monster are, it’s not us.”

“But it _could_ be.” This was the moment Kris had prayed years for. Despite everything, their naive wish was coming true. They weren’t sure how they didn’t realize it before, with how different they’d become. 

“Dude, think about this for a second.” Susie unfolded her arms, and pointed a claw their way. “It’s been, like, thirty minutes since we got here, and you’ve already almost died twice. Even if you could pretend to be all high and mighty and shit like a hero, there’s no way you could _FIGHT_ like one.”

“A-A hero doesn’t have to--” Ralsei was cut off.

“I’ll handle whatever comes my way just fine.” Kris stared defiantly, feeling more emotion than they were used to. Susie came closer.

“Oh yeah?” She reached out and pushed them, not enough to knock them over, just a few steps back. “What about when you were unconscious, huh? How were you gonna handle something then?”

“I’d…” They hadn’t thought of that. Kris tried to think of a way to stop themselves from blacking out in the fall, but couldn’t come up with one. She was right, they had no way to defend themselves then. “Shut up!”

“Face it, Kris.” Susie pushed them again. “This place _isn’t_ good for you.” And again. Their back collided with the wall they’d originally descended. Breath was beginning to leave them. She was going to deny them the only thing that gave them any hope at all.

_Is... she right?_

Kris could no longer see the geysers, but suddenly they could feel them. So much closer, Kris could practically taste the power that came from them, and the now familiar tug on their SOUL grew. Their heart beat faster, harder, threatened to break free and anchored them to the here and now when they were so close to losing themselves.

_No. This place is fine for me._

Power thrummed within them. “This place is _fine_ for me.” They were confident now.

Susie looked fierce. She pressed her palms to the wall on either side of Kris’ head and leaned in, forcing them to look up to meet her eyes, and practically hissed. “Quit your bullshit for a minute, arright? Look, I don’t know why, but you’ve got people that care about you where we came from, so _stop_ going around doing stuff like no one would miss you.”

She was wrong. They hadn’t even been wanted by their original family, whoever they were, and the town would be more than glad if a nuisance like them disappeared. Not a part of the church, not on a team, not popular with anyone. Their dad wouldn’t miss them, or else he wouldn’t have left. Toriel wouldn’t miss them, or else she’d stop comparing them to Asriel so much.

_… Az._

He might have missed them, but…

_He left too, didn’t he?_

The thought struck like a sour piano chord. Kris shook their head and gathered power in their arms. “Shut UP!” And pushed hard off Susie’s gut. So close to the geyser, they must have gathered more power than intended. As light faded from their arms, they could see her, ten feet away, on her back. “You don’t know anything about me!” Kris shouted. “This is a chance to be someone else, and you’re _not_ taking it away from me!”

“Then why should _I_ have to be someone else?” Susie shouted back, propped up on her elbows.

“Because nobody likes who you _are_!”

Silence. Kris gathered breath, and began to process what they’d just said. It was a question about her, but they’d misheard it as about them.

Susie didn’t show more than a small frown, and leaned forward to hide her eyes. Ralsei looked crestfallen. He wasn’t their brother, but wouldn’t Asriel have been just as disappointed? It hurt too much to think about, so Kris tore their eyes away, back to Susie, who was already up and dusting herself off.

“Got it.”

Even if they knew the truth about themselves, they’d never have wanted to hear it from someone else. With a start, Kris realized they’d been doing something else they never wanted to do, too. In wanting to think of Ralsei as Asriel, they’d done the exact same thing so many people had done to them, and lessened the value of his identity. Even if it wasn’t out loud, the idea made them sick. They had to apologize. To both of them.

“I--” Kris began when, from the right, a round black, white, and blue figure careened forward on a bicycle. They crashed into Ralsei with a literal explosion of force, sending the Prince some thirty feet away, where he collapsed. “Ralsei!” Kris moved quickly to stand between the figure and him.

Kris noticed the spades motif of the assailant, and connected the dots.

“You!” Both Kris and Susie shouted at once.

“Me!” His voice was high and jovial. “Ho ho ho! The heroes already know who I am, and I haven’t even introduced myself. My dad’s gonna make me Son of the Month!”

A little calmer, Kris realized the monster in front of them was just a kid. His bike had training wheels, which were on fire, but Kris had seen monsters do stranger things on purpose. The only thing they couldn’t tell for sure was which parts of him were skin and which were clothes. Maybe the spade on his face was a visor, but there was no use in guessing.

“So,” He continued. “You clowns want to seal our Dark Fountain, huh!?”

“Beat it, kid.” Susie spat.

“Wait,” Kris said. “Let him keep talking.”

“Thank you, blue person.” He smiled, tongue out. His teeth were large and strangely crooked.

“Shut up.” Kris responded.

“W-Wait…” He became genuinely confused. “Which one am I supposed to do?” Susie rolled her eyes.

“Just tell us why you’re here.” Kris said.

“Um…” Kris realized the monster’s feet didn’t even reach the pedals of his bike. Or, more accurately, only reached one at a time. “Oh! I, Lancer, am here to stop you from saving the world from eternal darkness!”

“And how are you going to do that?” Kris asked. They remembered the hail of spades from before, but the kid in front of them hardly seemed like they could’ve been the same person. Maybe they weren’t. _He did mention being a son, and most magic_ is _hereditary._

“By stopping you two from going east.” He stuck his tongue out again. Kris was beginning to think that was his default state. “ _And_ , I have a flawless two step plan to ensure it. Step one. I thrash you. Step two. You lose!”

“Huh…” Susie scratched her chin and smiled. “That’s. Not terrible.”

“R-Really?” Lancer asked, surprised.

“Yeah.” Susie said. “If you had to worry about more than one of us.” 

“Huh?” Lancer became confused again. “But, you guys are heroes, right? Don’t heroes fight together n stuff?”

“Nah. Kris has got this.” She gave an ‘I give up’ sort of shrug, and moved to stand by Ralsei, emptying the large dirt clearing of any obstacles besides Kris and Lancer.

Kris narrowed their eyes. _What’s she aiming for?_

Lancer shrugged, and honked his horn twice. “Whatever you say, purple lady.” Then, he began to peddle with surprising and immaculate speed, circling Kris clockwise at a wide distance. He gave a strange chuckle, and Kris could tell a FIGHT was beginning. Once more, the world failed to lose color, but that didn’t stop fat, white spades from lazily trailing the distance between Lancer and themselves.

Kris had to give up on keeping their eyes on Lancer immediately if they wanted to follow his bullets at the same time, so they did, and began to dodge. _“Move in a circle with them.”_ They could hear their brother saying. _“Track the distance from the center you moved and draw a smooth circle from there. Keep meeting the same point and you’ll never get hit by an attack like this.”_

There was something else to that, though, wasn’t there? Something important. Two honks from behind their vision answered the question. Kris turned to face the noise, but was caught on the side of the head by an airborne wheel, knocking them on their rear. Twelve damage.

Kris looked up to see Lancer a ways away with his tongue out. “I love getting thrashed. Just kidding, that’s you!” He laughed again, and began the same cycle.

_“Just remember, if you’re only watching the bullets, you make it easy for someone to jump you from behind. Wouldn’t that be embarrassing?” … Right. Thanks._

Kris chose to keep their eyes on Lancer this time. Their focus had shifted, but they could swear from the corner of their eyes that the bullets were slower now. _“Trust your judgement. If you hesitate, you’ll just get hit.”_

They slowed down, dragging a foot in the dirt to make a trail they could follow by feeling and not sight. With slower bullets, they could afford to strafe wider, and the distance between the two lessened. It was progress, but now their options were limited. If they charged in, it was possible Lancer would just throw out several projectiles at once. They wouldn’t be able to predict the spread or speed of each one, and his projectiles were too large to safely gamble on diving to knock down the bike or jumping over to kick him off.

_… The mountain._

Kris’ eyes were on Lancer, but his eyes were on them, too. Probably. If they could influence the course of the path Lancer was pedaling in, they might be able to force him to crash into the mountain. From there, finishing the fight would be child’s play.

The thought of using this place’s power was tempting, but drawing on it seemed to tire them out in a way Kris couldn’t quite describe. They wanted to do everything they could by themselves, and that left them only one option. The Magic of their SOUL.

Without knowing exactly why, Kris let one of their hands drop to the side, open as if to hold something, and soon found within it the hilt of a blade. Its grip was tough; made by tightly wrapped, cracked leather straps, and though it was painted to look like a real blade, Kris knew exactly what it was. It was the same wooden sword they once used to spar with their brother. It was light now, its heft easy.

In their other hand, they felt the magic they’d trained so hard to harness flow, the smooth, icy feeling that always came when it chased through their veins. First a spark, then a flame appeared in their hand, growing to the size of a soccer-ball. The wind flowed and the fire cast a dark shadow across their face. This place had made them stronger, and it would show.

Kris waited until Lancer had just finished passing the point where he was closest to the mountain wall, then tossed a fireball about half-way between the two of them, just to get his attention. Kris couldn’t tell if he was fazed, but their warning shot had at least caused Lancer to perk up.

They waited a moment, then threw another, this one in front of him and inwards, forcing him to swerve outward to avoid it. Then, they threw another one. Again and again, faster, forcing Lancer’s arc to widen until he was so focused on dodging that he couldn’t even throw out spades. Their strategy worked, and by the time Lancer realized what was happening, it was already too late. If he wanted to avoid crashing by turning either way, he’d have to slow down and tighten his turn too hard too fast. 

Lancer tried anyways, and leaned too hard to his right, tumbling off while his bike skid next to him, then he rolled once, twice, before meeting the wall. Kris walked up while he was regaining his senses, and pointed the tip of the sword his way, forcing him to sit up against the wall. Kris held a wisp of fire low, red eyes piercing the shadows dancing across them.

_Spare._ “Run.”

And so, he did. Lancer got on his bike and pedaled off in a hurry. Kris crushed the fire in their hands and felt empowered. They’d been hit, but it was exhilarating. Being able to take hits from monsters, dishing it out. Finally, they were on an even playing field with everyone else. Kris only hoped they’d have more opportunities like this.

_Power_. They reached within to SAVE, and found it somehow even closer than before. It was so indescribably easy to harness here.

Kris looked back to Susie to see Ralsei recovered, rubbing the back of his head. Susie offered a hand to him up.

“Are you two okay?” Ralsei called out.

“We’re fine.” Kris answered. At some point, their sword must have disappeared.

“What about you?” Susie asked Ralsei.

“I’m fine. Thank you for asking.” Ralsei smiled. 

_Apologize._

“Hey, Susie.” Kris paused. Their expression tightened. The right words didn’t come. “You don’t have to change. If you don’t want to be a hero, I’ll get us through this instead.”

“... Hm.” Susie replied. The wind blew the hair from both their eyes. Kris wondered, looking into hers, if she understood why it was so hard for them to say ‘sorry’. 

Kris turned to walk away. “East, right?” They asked Ralsei.

“Yes, that’s where--”

“Thanks.” They cut him off, and began to walk.

“Wait,” He cried. “We have to work together!”

“Just let ‘em go.”

“Susie?”

Kris wondered if she understood, because they couldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know? In canon, Susie never gets to hear Ralsei say he's waited his whole life to see her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ralsei, y do you talk so much? This one took a while due to a lot of reasons, but especially the dialogue.

Kris’ heart soared. Before them was a door grand enough to signify the start of a true quest. An adventure, like in all the books they’d read at the library. The human slipped off a glove and traced their fingertips along the ornate golden trim of the doorway, passing over to the smooth, cold surface of the door itself. If they could help it, they’d remember every detail of every moment of their journey, and in time, let their old life fall away. The person they were, the things they’d said, none of it would matter soon.

The thought was liberating, and made them feel light. Of course. Of course! There could be no room in a hero’s heart for melancholy and worry; there was a job to do!

The hero walked on, and imagined all the great deeds they’d accomplish. The respect and fear that would adorn them as they traveled. Fateful battles with tyrants and terrible creatures, and the admiration of a grateful people to come. Fire spawned naturally in their hands, and Kris let it flare. At first it was gratifying. The intense heat and light felt wonderful. But, suddenly, it became terrible.

It hadn’t been a problem in the moment, but it only just occurred to Kris that fire had been their brother’s tool of choice. Well, it was their family’s magic, actually, but he’d been the one to teach them. Toriel thought it was too dangerous, but Az only ever wanted to see them happy, so the two practiced together in secret. Working through struggles and triumphs, sometimes over nothing but sparks, those were all great memories. But, thinking of him only brought on comparisons. In a twisted way, any reminder of him was a reminder of the immense disappointment they’d been in their past life.

No matter how difficult it might make things later, if they couldn’t separate the two now, they’d have to stop using magic altogether. It was a foolish endeavor, but, staring into the flame, Kris tried hard to convince themselves that they’d always been able to use magic. That there’d never been any sweat or tears or mistakes. But, with every effort, Asriel’s voice was too clear. His praise and pride, and their own.

_“I’m so proud of you, Kris.”_

Their throat tightened. Without ceremony, the flame in their hands extinguished. Undoing all that time was impossible, no matter how much they wanted to. Raw and full of emotion, Kris came dangerously close to crying again. But, a hero was a stoic figure, they reminded themselves. They were someone else now. Someone the past couldn’t touch. The only regret that could be in that hero’s heart was the way that losing magic left them only one good option in a FIGHT.

The power this place had given them. All the hand-to-hand skills Kris knew were improvised, since monsters were all so different and it had never been the focus of their training, but, that wasn’t made them hesitant. It was not knowing what using that power drained them of. Obviously their HP hadn’t changed, and it wasn’t their magic, but, what did that even leave in a human? EXP? No, they didn’t have any. 

_What_ is _it?_

Just like on the mountains, Kris’ eyes had somehow naturally drifted to the Fountain over the horizon. A small tug acted on their SOUL, as if to assuage any fear.

_Of course... No room for worry. Only a goal._

Kris nodded, as if the Fountain had told them so. Whatever using that power did wasn’t important yet, so there was no point in worrying. For now, what mattered was that it was theirs. When new emotions threatened their progress, the hero would bury Kris in purpose, and together, they’d emerge a better person. Together, they’d succeed, and find self-worth.

Turning their attention outwards for the first time in a while, Kris finally noticed the change in scenery around them. The short, purple grass they’d started on had now grown to their shins, path widening to become a narrow field flanked to either side by strange trees growing from nothing. Immediately to their left was a small, wooden sign, which Kris read aloud.

“Enemies ahead. You’re gonna die. Signed, Lancer.”

On the other side of the field, situated just past the only way forward, a creature in a cowl and a long, diamond-patterned dress met their gaze. A little taller than Kris, she looked on with an ambivalent smile and raised one hand containing a diamond-shaped dagger, slowly moving forward. Kris raised their fists, meeting her pace for pace. Thirty feet of open field were all that separated the two.

_ACT > Check > ???_

**Rudinn. Attack 6, Defense 0. This ambivalent diamond isn’t any girl’s best friend.**

“Face my diamond cutter!” Rudinn called. Their foe, perhaps predictably, summoned sharp diamond shapes in a loosely clockwise pattern around them, cascading inwards two at a time with great speed. The first set in front and to the left, the second in front and to the right, and the third directly behind them. Each diamond was about as wide as their head and long as their arm, so half-measured dodges wouldn’t cut it. Kris dove and rolled once, twice, three times to avoid the bullets.

Having to roll without a break would have made it easy for Rudinn to catch them in a bad position, but the enemy stayed exactly where she was.

_Maybe the dagger’s just for show._

Taking advantage of the lull in bullets, Kris sprinted toward her to close the distance, but was surprised by how quickly Rudinn summoned another round of the same attack. They’d barely made it five feet before barely managing to leap aside, landing almost directly in front of the next set.

_Power!_

White light surrounded them. In their past life, that would’ve been enough to make the damage negligible. Here, it was still four HP and a fresh cut across the shoulder. Monsters here seemed to be far more adept at combat, with aggressive bullet patterns to boot. But then, in their old world, FIGHTs had only ever been a hobby, or a form of expression. Maybe here it was what decided if you lived.

Composure regained, Kris was able to dodge the last set easily. So far, each attack had come from the same distance and direction relative to them. They paused to gather some breath, stance tense, and noticed easily in Rudinn’s large eyes was fear. Observing more closely, her dagger hand shook.

_She doesn’t even want to fight?_

“Why are you fighting?” The hero commanded.

“I-I just need to get paid, okay, Lightner?” She answered. _‘Lightner’?_

“Is your money more important than the well-being of others?”

“I… don’t know?” The question made her uneasy. “Look, I’m just a normal person, okay? The king guy pays me, and that’s all that matters.” _Hmph._

“Is there a bounty on us? On ‘Lightners’?”

“Not exactly, but…” Rudinn looked up in thought, eyes beginning to glimmer. “If I asked the King for a reward, I bet he’d give me as much as I want!” She giggled, and began to shine. “That’s right, _that’s_ what I’m fighting for!”

Fear forgotten, Rudinn created another circle of diamonds, this time even faster, as if she couldn’t wait to cut into them.

_Disgusting._

Kris charged. Most of a hero’s enemies could be convinced to stop, through besting them in combat, or, in nobler cases, through words. But, to them, a hero could have little mercy for the corrupt. If the enemy didn’t care for the well-being of others, why would the hero care for theirs? Malice should receive malice.

The first set came, spawning in front and to the left in exactly the same manner as the last two. That was all the assurance Kris needed to put a plan into motion. They delayed leaping away from the first set for as long as they could, needing to close the distance. Then, the second set came, in front and to the right.

_Ten feet out._

Kris dodged again and aligned themselves with Rudinn. The second attack missed, and with oblivious determination, she brought on the third. Directly behind them.

_Power._

The human quickly leaned back, gloves meeting the dirt to catch their fall, feet digging in as they slid forward. So low to the ground, the diamonds whistled overhead and collided directly into a very surprised Rudinn’s chest. A thin coat of light surrounded Kris’ body as they tensed up, pivoting forward off their heels and springing from below to deliver a punch straight to the monster’s face. It was enough to launch the monster off her feet, and she landed with a hard thud-- sprawled out, dagger flying out of her hands.

Kris gave the monster no time to recover and planted a boot on her chest, looking down with disdain.

“W-Wait!” She cried. “We can work together! We can fake capturing you, and split the reward 50-50!”

Their boot dug in a little harder. Killing, they wouldn't dream of. But scaring? That was easy.

“Ack! Okay, okay, 60-40!”

Kris sighed. “Tell me what your king is like.”

“The... King?” Rudinn became visibly stressed. “I... I don’t know!”

They frowned. “You wouldn’t happen to be lying to me, would you?” 

“N-No, seriously! I’ve never met the guy!” Rudinn thought a moment. “He put the other three kings in jail I guess, but, that’s really all I know about him!”

“Of the three other kingdoms?” _Does he have Ralsei’s father?_

“No, no, there used to be four kings ruling _this_ one. But now, _he’s_ the only one. What, have you been living in a hole?” She cracked the joke with a deeply nervous smile. 

_… Am I pushing this too far? When does a hero stop? How does a hero_ know _when to stop?_

Kris shook their head. “Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to let you go, on one condition--”

“I don’t have to pay any money, do I?”

“... No.”

“Oh, okay, good.”

Kris pinched the bridge of their nose. “Just, listen. A purple monster is going to come through here, accompanied by a goat. You’re going to stall them, and play along with whatever they do. You’ll be friendly, and you won’t attack too roughly. Got it?” Kris stepped off and eyed the dagger a ways away. “And I’m taking that.”

“Um, they’re not gonna jump me like you did, are they?” Rudinn asked, tinged with worry.

“Well, first of all, you jumped me. Second, probably not.” Kris picked up the dagger and gave it a few test swings before sheathing it in one of the cloth bands around their forearms. “They’re better people than me.”

* * *

A few corners later, Kris turned to see a familiar tear-drop shaped monster standing beside an empty sign. Lancer, it seemed, hadn’t run very far.

“Hello.” Kris called quietly, keeping a respectful distance.

“Oh.” Lancer turned. “Hey.” He was hesitant, and maybe a little afraid.

_That's my fault._

“We don’t have to fight, you know?” Kris gave an ‘I surrender’ gesture with their hands. The corrupt didn’t deserve mercy, but Lancer was just a kid. Chances were, he didn’t even fully understand the stakes yet.

“We don’t?” The idea surprised him.

“No, we don’t. Unless, of course, you still plan to defend the Dark Fountain?”

“Um... “ Lancer’s face sunk a little, and his body squished to match. “But, I have to.”

“Why?” Kris came a little closer and kneeled, adopting a more sincere tone. “Is it the king? Has he captured someone you care about?”

“What?” Lancer frowned. “Uh, no, my dad’s _the_ king, and--”

“Your father’s the king?” Kris stated incredulously. “Could you tell me about him?”

Lancer 'eyed' them suspiciously. “You’re just trying to get me to say stuff about my dad, aren’t you? He said you Lightners would try to use me against him.”

“What?” They held out their hands. “Oh, no, that’s not it at all.” _I’ll have to speak more carefully._ “I… only care about stopping him from doing something awful.”

“Yeah, right.”

“It’s true.” Kris leaned back and crossed their legs, trying to become as non-threatening as possible. “The Dark Fountain is going to hurt a lot of people if it’s allowed to stay.”

“... It will?” Some uncertainty crept into his voice. “Just Lightners though, right?”

“Hm. Yes, I suppose, but…” They put a glove to their chin, thinking, then raised a finger. “Think of it this way. If your father’s the king, that makes you the prince of this kingdom, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“So, imagine then that your kingdom is about to experience something _awful_. All the smiling faces you see every day, all of your favorite places to be, even your father. It’s all about to…” They reached for a friendlier word. “Disappear.”

Lancer said nothing.

“Not all at once, and not without warning. But, you know it’s coming, and the whole time it’s happening, people are going to be hurt. You’d do your best to stop that, right?”

Lancer looked down, obviously uneasy. “... Dad says it’s our revenge on the Lightners.”

 _Progress_. Kris gave the prince some time to think before asking another question. “If you don’t mind, what did the last 'Lightners' _do_ to make your father so upset with them?”

“Uh.” He rubbed his arm. “They just left, I guess. Lots of people caught a case of the _freak-outs_ when they never came back. Dad especially.”

“How long ago was this?”

“... I dunno. A _really_ long time ago. Like, before I was around.” _Whatever ‘a long time ago’ means to a kid._

“Is that the only reason?”

“... Maybe.” Lancer looked up, sort of concerned. “A few years ago, a _really weird_ person came by, and started talking to my dad. I dunno what they talked about, but, after a few visits, suddenly he wanted everyone ready to fight you guys, no matter what.”

Kris tilted their head. “Strange how? Human, like me?”

“Uh.” Lancer looked them up and down. “No." His expression narrowed. "Wait, maybe? I'm not sure, they were just sorta… _wrong_. When I think about them, they don't really fit together right. Like a bad puzzle or something. If you saw them, you’d probably get it.”

“I see.” Kris leaned back. By nature, monsters found it difficult to hate. FIGHTs could be in their blood, so to speak, but it took a lot to twist a monster to hate. _I wonder, then, how close the King was to those ‘Lightners’._ “What happened after that? To the people who didn’t want to fight?”

He frowned. “They got sent to jail.”

Kris thought a moment. “Is that why you have to fight?” Their eyes widened. _Idiot!_

“H-Huh!? No way, my dad would never--!” Lancer, at first indignant, began to wilt. “My dad would never…”

_Oh... Oh no. That’s much worse than a lost ally._

“I’m sorry.” The hero stood to leave. “Thank you for your honesty. Please, forget I said anything.”

They made it halfway through the next pseudo-corridor of grass before the prince spoke up again. “Wait!” The human looked back to see a sad, hopeful kid. “... You’re not gonna hurt him, are you?”

_… Am I?_

The King might be a malicious man, but, it already sounded like there was more to it than that. They hadn’t planned on judging him until coming face to face, but, how could they explain that to a kid? When no calculated answer came, Kris let instinct do the talking for them.

“I don’t… _want_ to hurt him, I guess.” _It’d be nice if I didn’t have to._ “I don’t really _want_ to hurt anyone. If I can, I want to--” _be better_ “-- help everyone. I just...” _Can’t._ “Don’t know the best way to do that yet. For now… For now, I just want to talk to him.”

Kris looked to an upturned palm, and thought of heroes and fire. _Do I really not want to hurt anyone? Or is that only because_ he _wouldn’t? A hero’s life is supposed to be simple, so, why does it feel like nothing’s really changed?_

“So, you don’t hate us?” Lancer’s strange question pulled them away from that train of thought.

“Hate you...? How could I? I’ve only just met you.” Kris supposed most humans didn’t need a reason to hate, but then, they weren’t most humans.

He tilted his head. “You’re not like dad said you’d be at all.”

“... Is that a bad thing?”

“I don’t think so." Lancer smiled. "Everyone says you Lightners were important, and if you’re here to help, then that’s good, right?”

Kris tried their best to smile for him, though they had no idea what that looked like. “Right.” _Someone already believes I can do good. Maybe I’m overthinking it._ “You’re a clever kid, Lancer.”

“Thanks, blue person!”

“Just, Kris is fine.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks, Just Kris!” 

The human’s smile became genuine, and they laughed. Hard. And probably too long. _Definitely_ too long.

“Wow,” Lancer seemed shocked. “I’m really that funny?”

“Well, I certainly seem to think so, at least.” They came closer and offered a hand. “Say, Lancer. How would you feel about working together?”

He gasped. “Like friends?”

“... Yeah. Like friends.”

* * *

“This is terrible!” Ralsei pulled on his ears, pacing quickly back and forth. Susie watched, arms folded, leaning against the wall where Kris had left them. She figured he was getting worked up over nothing, but she’d wait a while and see if he got over it himself. “Oooh, what do I do?”

“... you don’t really, uh, _gotta_ do anything, you know.” Susie offered. If Kris wanted to be ‘someone else’ so bad they’d risk death, she figured that was their problem. The idea of finding them face-down in the dirt sorta terrified her, but what could she do? Kris was right, she hardly knew anything about them, and she wasn’t about to say any of the fakey ‘in your corner’ bullshit people always spouted in movies.

“Well. No, but--” Ralsei stopped pacing and turned to her, gesturing nervously with his paws. “I wasn’t able to tell Kris anything about this place, o-or give them a tutorial on FIGHTing, and, without me they might not be able to heal up, or-- A-and if they _die_ , then--”

“Woahhh.” Susie made a ‘calm down’ motion with her hands and came close to offer support. She couldn’t let both of them be on that page at once. “Relax. You saw how they handled themselves earlier. They’ll be fine.” _Probably._

“Well, yes, Kris did well, but, that’s no guarantee they’ll _stay_ safe!” Ralsei groaned and tried collecting himself, clutching at his robe and running his thumbs over the fabric. “Kris is… important. They’re the only one who can seal the Dark Fountain, so, it’s not an exaggeration to say that the fate of the _world_ lies within their SOUL. But, even ignoring that…” He got quieter. “We’re supposed to be together.”

The way he said it, she could swear there was more to those words than loneliness. Susie was doing her best to be a good friend, but if Ralsei was hiding something, she wouldn’t be able to let it go easily.

“Whaddya mean?”

“Huh?” The question surprised him.

“I _said_ , what do you mean by ‘supposed to be together’?” She couldn’t help the edge that came out.

“O-Oh, um.” Ralsei blushed, and failed to meet her eyes. “I just, really want to be there for you two. Every step of the way, if, I can be... I want to see you grow, like heroes always do!” 

His smile was as embarrassed as Susie’s frown. The first person to treat her like more than a stranger, and she still couldn’t stop throwing pointless aggression his way. She looked away, trying to set her expression right. Ralsei noticed the pause and spoke up.

“You must be worried about Kris too, right? You’ve been frowning ever since they left.”

“It’s…” It would be easy to say nothing, but she made herself answer. “Complicated. I mean, I don’t _want_ them to die or anything, but, if they don’t care about themselves, why should I, ya know?”

Seconds of silence dragged on. Talking to the prince was surprisingly easy, but she was still afraid of being judged. 

“... Do you want my advice?”

Susie continued to carefully stare at nothing. 

“... Yeah.”

Ralsei took a breath, and then began. He spoke just as carefully as when he delivered the prophecy, which helped to calm her nerves.

“All my life, I’ve been looking forward to a journey foretold exactly by a prophecy. But, while we all know the ending, we don’t know very much about what’s in the middle.” He paused a moment, and a strange sort of hopefuless entered his voice. “It’s my belief that, the world is full of all _kinds_ of wonderful people. It’s impossible to understand each and every one of them, of course, but, I think if we do our best to understand the ones we _do_ meet, at least enough to avoid fighting them, then, we can all achieve our own happy endings!”

Susie looked back, pretense forgotten, to see Ralsei, head down, holding his hands together as if in prayer. “If not... I fear our endings... may not be so favorable.” His hands came apart, and he looked to her, half-laughing. “Of course, not everyone will make that easy. People like Kris might feel like they’ve got no choice _but_ to fight. And, in that case, what we show them will make all the difference.”

She blinked. It was a lot to take in at once.

“O-Oh, I’m sorry, did I say too much?” Ralsei tapped his claws together. “I sort of talk to myself a lot, so, I can get really carried away.”

“Nah, It’s just… I’m thinkin.” Susie folded her arms. “If what we do matters so much, what if I don’t know what to say? I don’t wanna lie to ‘em, everyone already lies enough as is.”

“Then don’t.” Ralsei made it sound so simple.

“But if I say the wrong thing and make it worse--” Kris obviously hadn’t wanted what they said to come out. She’d never thought of herself from the outside, but Kris was probably pretty close, even if their backgrounds were totally different. Hurting others was just preferable to getting yourself hurt. To them, part of that was refusing help. To her, it was never trusting. Kris probably had their own reasons for not wanting help, the same way she had hers. 

_Wish I knew ‘em._

“Just speak from the SOUL.” Ralsei gave a reassuring smile. “Your will, your compassion, if you speak plainly using those things, whatever comes out can’t be wrong.” After another pause, he spoke again. “And, I’m sure once we catch up to them, Kris will have something to say, too.”

“... Yeah. Yeah, alright.” _No point in worrying about it before it's even happening._ “You all good now too?”

He tilted his head, confused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you were pretty freaked out earlier. You okay?”

“Oh, that’s not important any more.” His smile stayed sincere. “We should really focus on catching up to Kris now.” She wasn’t exactly the most socially adept, but it felt pretty obvious that he was still hanging onto something.

“... If you say so.” She held eye contact for a bit, then started walking away.

Ralsei quickly moved to follow behind her. “I’ll be behind you the whole way. If you ever want to talk again, all you have to do is say something.”

She wanted to say ‘I’m here too’ but that was probably too much. Too personal. So she smiled instead, and cracked a joke. 

“Yeah, dude, that’s how talking works.” He laughed, and looked a little happier.

_That’s good enough for now._

* * *

“Oh, Susie, it’s the training dummy I made!”

“You made it look like you?”

“I did! I didn’t really have anyone else to model it off of, so, I made another me!” He stood next to it for emphasis. “How did I do?”

She grinned. “Not bad. I can hardly tell which one’s the real nerd.”

“Haha, thank you!” Ralsei rubbed the back of his head. “Um, as important as catching up to Kris is, I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen just because we skipped a perfectly good tutorial. Susie, do you know how to fight?”

“Heh.” Her grin turned manic as she manifested her ax. “ _‘Do I know how to fight?’_ ”

The prince blinked. “... Do you?”

“... Yeah.” She stood a little straighter.

His eyes narrowed before realization dawned on him. “Ohh! I’m sorry, that was a joke, wasn’t it? I’ll pick up on it next time.” Bashful, he offered an upturned paw. “Er, we might want to go over the basics anyways. Things probably work a little differently here than you’re used to.”

 _No black and white, for starters._ “Yeah, okay, walk me through it.” She moved to stand opposite the dummy, about twenty feet away, and planted her ax in the dirt.

“Okay, get ready!”

Susie watched carefully. And waited. Ralsei’s brow furrowed, eyes searching for something. He started to mutter before Susie finally spoke up.

“What’s the hold-up?”

“Oh, nothing! I just got my notes for you and Kris mixed up a moment.” _Hmm..._ The prince shook his head, then began to speak with clarity again. “You probably already knew this, but if your HP reaches 0, you lose the battle. You have a lot, Susie, and I can heal you, but please take care to dodge enemy attacks as best as you can anyways. Some can really pack a punch!”

_How could he know that?_

“Uh, by _lose_ , you mean _die_ , right?” She leaned on her ax.

“Not at all.” He raised a claw. “So long as an ally is still in the fight, you can always come back. That’s true for you, and me! Another reason I really want to find Kris soon. I’ll show you what an attack might look like here. In this example, _I_ will be the attacker, not the dummy. Ready? Here we go!”

Ralsei flicked his finger forward, and began to send small, basic, oval bullets in a straight line coming from the dummy. They had no special pattern or reason, so they were easy to dodge, even given the disadvantage of her size. The prince slowly paced from his position to hers, looking on with pride. It made holding eye contact weird, so she settled for staring at the heart-shaped hole in his robe.

“You’re a natural, Susie.” He came to a stop beside her and closed his paw, causing the bullets to stop. “Remember, if you’re only watching the bullets, it becomes easy for someone to jump you from behind. I’ll be watching your back, but in a fight against multiple foes, anything can happen!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve already got all that.” She pulled out her ax and brandished it menacingly in his direction. “Now it’s my turn, right?”

“Um, yes, normally, but--” The prince threw up his hands and gave a nervous smile. “Please do attack the dummy, and _not_ me.”

She clapped a hand to his shoulder. “Ha! Come on, I’m just messin with you dude. Don’t take it so seriously.”

Susie felt out for the magic in her. It wasn’t hard, being made of the stuff, but some monsters still found a way to struggle with it. She was pretty familiar with the science behind it, but that had never been what made her good. To her, using magic was as natural as breathing. Which is why she immediately noticed something was wrong.

“Huh.” Susie muttered.

“Is something wrong?” Ralsei asked.

“Yeah. Gimme a second.”

She put her ax aside again and threw out some of her own magic, carving long, curved lines in the air with a claw, sending cutting waves of force forward. Horizontal, vertical, horizontal. Every cast should’ve taken a little bit of energy, but as soon as the magic dissipated, it came right back.

_Weird._

The monster picked up her ax, and started to add to the process. The same magic, accompanied by hard swings. Complicating the shape, adding more force, swinging faster, no matter what she did, the result was the same. Her body was becoming tired, but she hadn’t actually lost any energy. 

_Oh, hang on._

She tried one more swing, aimed away from Ralsei’s dummy, and put as much as she could into the attack. With a larger gap to fill, she was finally able to pick up on what felt wrong.

“Susie, is everything alright?” Ralsei asked, concerned.

“Probably.” She huffed once, and wiped a bit of sweat off, pushing her hair back. “It’d be hard to explain.”

“Um, could you try, please?”

Susie caught her breath, scratched at her snout. She wasn’t exactly a teacher, but if it stopped Ralsei from looking at her with his big, dumb, worried eyes, she’d manage.

“Arright, so...” She rubbed the back of her head. “Basically, magic feels different to different monsters, ‘cause-- because everyone’s different--god, what a lame sentence\-- and, every time I’m using magic here, it’s coming back to me immediately, which isn't normal. But, also, it doesn’t _feel_ like me. It feels like _nothing_. Like no _one_. So, it’s probably being borrowed from somewhere.” Her narrowed eyes tracked the Fountain. “Or some _thing_.”

“And, that’s bad?”

“... Could be. Magic makes up a monster. If the only magic in me was this place, or, hell, if most of me was this place, I dunno what’d happen. I’ll just have to watch how much I’m using.”

Ralsei’s eyes still showed concern. “What about Kris, then? Are they at risk, too?”

“Nah, it’s totally different for a human.” Susie picked up her ax and began walking to the dummy. “They don’t even have any magic in ‘em. If they want to use some, they have to burn through ‘determination’. We don’t know much about _that_ , though, except that it’s what makes a human a human.” She picked up the dummy’s hat.

“So, what if--” Susie firmly planted the dummy’s hat onto Ralsei, eliciting a soft ‘oof’.

“Nope.” She started to walk on.

He tugged at his hat by the brim until it sat more comfortably. “But--”

“ _Noooope._ ” Susie said, louder, not turning around. “No more questions. You made me say enough science garbage for one day.”

Ralsei followed, and didn't try to ask again.

Passing through more courtyards and garden paths, the silence became harsh. Ralsei almost definitely wanted to say something, but was staying quiet anyways. If it was important enough, he’d speak up, wouldn’t he? They traveled some distance before ending up in front of a massive double door with the Delta Rune on it. The trim around it was pretty gaudy by her standards, no matter where it might’ve led.

“Ah,” Ralsei suddenly spoke again, almost making her jump. “The Great Door was opened. No wonder Lancer was able to come through.”

 _Conversation._ “... Is it, not supposed to be?”

He thought a moment. “I don’t know. I suppose I’ve just never seen it open.”

There was another pause. He waited patiently, looking to her with the same simple smile he’d had nearly every second she looked his way. For some reason, in that moment, it was off-putting. Like something was missing. Like the prince lacked something, the same way all the buildings in his kingdom did.

“Hey, Ralsei.” Susie began, not sure where she was going. He perked up. Meshed his fingers and twiddled his thumbs.

“Yes, Susie?”

“I’ve been pretty honest with you, right?”

He nodded, and smiled a little wider. “You have! I can tell, I really appreciate it.”

“... That said. I really want to know now, before anything happens.” She swallowed, not sure why this was so nerve-wracking all of a sudden. “If you’re lying about anything. Or, if you’re holding onto a big secret.”

“Big secret?” He put a finger to his chin, smile becoming simple again. “No, I don’t think so. Why do you ask?”

_He’s pretty expressive, right? I’d know if he was lying, right? It’d be way too hard to lie like that, looking me straight in the eyes. Right?_

“Susie?” He tilted his head. “Is something wrong?”

“Forget it, just something stupid.” She took in a breath. She had to try trusting him. Even if it sort of hurt to. If he'd lied, it’d piss her off, but, what if he was doing it in her best interest? What then? What if he couldn’t help it, the same way she couldn’t sometimes? 

_Maybe he doesn’t know he doesn’t have to?_

“Actually,” She started, at first looking away, then forcing herself to meet his eyes. “Stupid question, but, if something’s bothering you, you know you can talk about it, right? I promise not to judge or anything.”

“Oh, I couldn’t trouble you like that.” He waved a hand.

“No, seriously. You’ve been... really cool, and... ” She buried a hand in her hair. “I wanna return the favor.”

“There’s really nothing I want to burden you with.” His smile became more sincere. “I’m a Darkner, and you’re a Lightner. I feel fulfilled just being close to you!”

“But…” _Are you happy?_

He seemed to pick up on her unsaid words. “Truly, Susie, it’s not something you should be worried by. Please, forget about it.”

But she wouldn't. Not ever. “... Alright. Let’s hit the road, then.”

The prince’s head tilted in confusion. “Did it do something to deserve it?”

Susie snorted.

"What?"

"Don't worry about it." _I'll save those troubles for later..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're finally really getting into the wild speculation territory. I really like what I've done, and I hope you will too. Thank you for reading, as ever.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... It's been a while since we visited Kris and co, huh?

Susie jostled the ax on her shoulder, grip tight, a low growl building. If she could channel even half the absent-minded boredness she had in Alphys’ classes, thinking about how meeting up with Kris again was gonna go wouldn’t be an issue. But, apparently, saying you’re not going to worry about something and actually not are two completely different things.

Really, she only wanted to ask a few questions, but that was sort of like opening up, which was sort of like showing she cared. Which, she did. 

Sort of. 

At least a little. Probably. 

It was hard to tell. At the very least, she wanted to try caring, but it was complicated.

Every time she thought about what she wanted to say, she couldn’t help also thinking about what would happen if she didn’t make it back with Kris alive. The whole town would blame her, of course, no matter what she said, and while there were plenty of things she could say to stop Kris from running off again, she didn’t really like any of them. The idea of beating the shit out of the human herself was kinda funny, but that wouldn’t get her where she wanted.

“Could you um, maybe stop please?”

So much of what was going to happen depended entirely on what Kris had to say, and for some reason that unsettled her. The moment felt bigger than it had any right to, like it would be the difference between being a stranger forever, and caring about everything. 

“Hey, I’m uh-- oh god, she’s getting closer-- I-I’m talking to you!! So, stop! ... Please?”

Susie’s claws scraped against the wooden handle, lips curling back. Was she just being stupid? Maybe, but it was hard to think straight with so much happening at once. Whatever happened, she just wanted to make sure there wouldn’t be any regrets at the end. That was all that really mattered.

“Um, Susie?” The Prince asked with some urgency.

“Huh?” Susie stopped in her tracks, looking for an immediate threat. Only a few feet ahead was a diamond-themed darkner sweating through her cowl, arms extended, large eyes small. “What, her?”

“Oh, you actually stopped.” Diamonds wiped a hand across her forehead. “Phew!”

Susie narrowed her eyes, trying to catch up as fast as possible. Looking past the living roadblock, the path ahead didn’t look any different, so she turned to Ralsei. “What’s up? Why are we stopping?” 

“Because she asked us to, I think.” He answered.

“Well, yeah, but _why_?” Her gaze drifted to Diamonds, who stared back, eyes sort of blank. It didn’t look like she had a lot going on upstairs, so Susie made a ‘go on’ gesture with her free hand. Nothing. She leaned forward. “Sooo…”

Finally, recognition flashed across the darkner’s eyes. “Oh! You’re talking to _me_. Haha.”

Susie clenched a fist and barely held back from saying about a dozen awful things. “... Yep. Sure am.”

“Well, you see, um...” The darkner cleared her throat, took a breath, and began to speak. And didn’t stop. It was like when MK and Jockington rapid-fire alternated stupid questions to keep Alphys from being able to assign work before class was over, only dumber. The words didn’t matter; something about enemies ahead _(duh)_ , something about ‘dark dollars’ and beds, all a bunch of pointless shit. The rambling didn’t bother her so much as it was the way Ralsei was buying into it, nodding and even saying ‘thank you’ every now and then.

“Oh, that _does_ sound important.” He commented, smile genuine.

“Yes!” Diamonds took the first breath Susie could remember her taking, and became much more relaxed. “Yes, it does, doesn’t it? It might take me awhile to get through _everything_ though, so, you know, if you want to go back the way you came, however far that was, and get a snack, then come back, but, you know, take your time, because--”

_That’s enough._

Susie took two long strides forward, closing the gap between her and the darkner in an instant. She kept her voice low and gripped hard at their collar, yanking them into the air.

“Not again.” Diamonds whimpered. Susie scowled, feeling their sweat start to wet her claws.

“Susie?” The prince squeaked out. Susie turned her head to him.

“Let me handle this.” He hesitated, then nodded, face full of quiet concern. She turned back to Diamonds. “Look, I gave you three minutes to say even a single useful thing, but obviously you’re only interested in taking advantage of my buddy here’s better nature. So here’s what’s gonna happen.” She shook the darkner once, then pulled her closer. “I’m gonna set you down, and you’re gonna stand over there ‘til we’re gone. You do _anything_ else, and it’s gonna get ugly. Got it?"

She said nothing.

“Got it!?”

“Um!” Diamonds gulped. “I-I kind of, um, can’t! I can’t do that, because, I think…” She wrapped her hands around Susie’s forearm, nervous smile painfully broad. “See, if I uh, don’t attack you, then, I go to jail, but, if I don’t keep you here, then--” She whipped her head to check the path beyond, then turned back. “Then… I dunno what’ll happen.”

_Is this... Kris’ fault?_

Susie took a few moments to run the odds on that before feeling Diamonds kick at the air. She had to focus.

_ACT > ‘Diamonds’ > Convince_

“Well gee, that sucks.” She mock-sympathised with a smile. “Good thing we just _happened_ to stroll by while you were on break, huh?” 

“I-I don’t, uh, breaks, so--”

Susie rolled the shoulder her ax was resting on, causing it to slump and sink into the dirt a few inches. “Take it or leave it, we don’t have the time.”

“... The ax?” The hope in Diamonds’ voice was palpable.

“The _excuse_.” This was an exercise in patience, and she didn’t have much left. When seconds passed and Diamonds said nothing, Susie picked up the ax and turned it flat-ways, intending to knock them out. “Your funeral.”

“W-Wait!” Ralsei piped up. Susie turned back just enough to see his wide eyes. Was he judging her? She looked off into the distance, away from either of them.

“Look, she’s obviously not gonna move unless I make her. What do you even care, she was just taking advantage of you anyways.”

“Maybe,” Ralsei said. “But, don’t you think she might’ve been easier to convince if she was happy?” Her eyes narrowed.

“Wait, are you saying you knew she was bullshitting with you and you just… let her?”

“Well, I don’t think I’d use those words, but, I was listening.”

_This guy has a bone of dishonesty in his whole body?_

Diamonds wiggled a little. “Even to the part about the party I didn’t get invited to?”

“Especially that part.” Ralsei smiled.

“Wow...!” The darkner’s shine, which Susie hadn’t noticed was fading, returned.

“Ugh.” Susie frowned, and looked to Ralsei. “How the hell can you care about someone so... self-absorbed?”

“Well, I’m only doing what _I’d_ want someone to do to me.” He put a claw to his chin a moment before continuing. “Um, the point of ACTs is that, they’re yours! No matter how you choose to express your compassion, the fact that you are at all is incredibly meaningful! But, part of the world having so many wonderful people is, that we’re different.” He balled his fists and pressed them against one another. “If we only ever expressed ourselves in ways we wanted to, and never how others needed us to, then,” He opened his palms and meshed his hands. “We’d never be able to meet in the middle.”

The Prince was expressing it better than she’d ever heard before, but still, she had heard it all before.

“But what’s the _point_ of that!” Her grip on Diamonds slacked. “What’s the _point_ of doing it any other way? If _I’m_ not ACTing the way I want to, and they’re not ACTing the way they want to, then, we’re all just playing pretend!”

“Um, I--” He began, but she interrupted.

“And what about when you get it wrong, huh? What about whenever you can’t figure out whatever arbitrary bullshit people want-- no, _need_ you to do for them to think, ‘maybe she really _does_ care’. What about that?” She looked out into the abyss above. “It’s all just, so... _fake_.” The word seemed to echo somehow. Like the never-ending dark had suddenly closed in, and become an empty cave with nothing in it.

The Prince half-buried his face in his scarf. “Am I… fake, to you?” 

She turned her head back to him. “I dunno man, do you care?” A beat passed. “About me, I mean? Do you really care? About anything?”

If he’d answered immediately, she might’ve had a hard time believing him. But instead, he really thought. It was obvious, the same way all his emotions were, that he really did care. His face scrunched up almost comedically in concentration before answering. “Yes. I care very much about you. And about the Darkner you’re still holding, and everything else!” He ended it with a small, hopeful smile. “And, I think, that’s all you really need, to not be, um, ‘fake’. Is to really care.”

“... Then yeah, man. You’re not fake.” Those words, his and hers, gave the feeling of a weight lifted from her very SOUL. Ralsei’s small smile became wider, and earnest. She really had a friend in the prince. For the first time in, maybe ever, she had a real, honest to god friend.

“Then maybe, we could work together.” He began. “To find a way you feel right ACTing, while still meeting with others.”

“... Yeah.” Susie said. “That sounds...” ‘Good?’ ‘Nice?’ No words really seemed to fit. 

A sniffing sound suddenly assaulted her ears. Susie turned back to see Diamonds tearing up. “That was so beautiful.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Susie dropped the darkner without warning, causing them to stumble backwards and fall on their butt. Ralsei scuttled over and offered a hand to help the darkner up. 

“Maybe we could try this whole thing over again?” He asked.

“Um, okay, sure.” Diamonds smiled again. Susie half-nodded.

“What’s your name?” He asked once they were up.

“Si.” Si said.

“Si.” He repeated. “Nice to meet you, Si!” And he shook the hand he still had in his grip with a smile.

“Uh, thanks!” Si’s smile became a bit embarrassed.

The conversation didn’t last much longer, but it was weirdly nice anyways. 

Ralsei lead by asking if Si had anything nice to say about them first, and Si responded by saying Susie’s jacket was ‘very cool’ and that her spikes were ‘very shiny, very threatening; it’s a great look,’ while Ralsei got a compliment about his ‘very chic’ glasses. Susie had a hard time coming up with a genuine compliment, so Ralsei said something smooth about Si’s smile instead, and explained that, really, they did have to go, but were very happy to have met. Susie took the chance to go and apologized with only half as much effort as she thought she’d need before taking off.

And then, once the two were a ways away, Susie spoke again.

“Hey, uh… Thanks.” It was almost hard not to tack on an ‘I guess’.

“For what?” Ralsei asked, and she could swear there were the hints of a grin in his smile.

“Eh, you know, for uh…” She made some useless hand gestures. The Prince tilted his head, smile a little wider. “Oh my god, are you really gonna make me say it?”

“I’d like to hear it.” He tucked his hands behind his back.

“Ugh, fine, _geez_. Thanks for…” _Being my friend._ “... Making it _way_ less awkward back there. Yeah, pretty sure I was about to, uh, say somethin’ about how that outfit made it easy to lift ‘em or something.”

“... Oh.” He let it sit a moment. “You’re welcome.” Then leaned in, teasing. “Anything, else, maybe?”

_God, what a dork._

She grinned and tugged down on the brim of the prince’s hat, covering his eyes and throwing him off balance. “ _Nahhh_ , pretty sure I’ve only got one of those in me a day.”

Ralsei giggled, and from there, they talked. About what didn’t really matter. The conversation carried on past darkner after darkner, sometimes including them, sometimes not. She had to wonder where all the words were coming from. All the jokes. It was a totally foreign experience, connecting with someone so well, but it felt right. Maybe even as easy as magic.

Sure, there were things that unsettled her about the world still, things she was worried about. But for once. Maybe everything wouldn’t be so bad.

Maybe everything could still work out.

* * *

_Power._

The hero’s gaze lifted, but their head did not. Two Hathies stood opposite them, about eight feet apart. The darkners stared. Apprehensive. **Afraid.**

Step.

Step.

Two spinning hearts blinked into existence, surrounding the human.

**You are so much _stronger_ than these two…**

From nothing, the human launched into a dead sprint, barely aware of the damage they’d taken breaking past the hearts. The distance cleared, a fist reared back and slammed hard into the chest of the first Hathy, downing them. The second made to respond, but couldn’t overcome the panic as a stolen dagger flashed and flew their way. It missed wide, but they couldn’t recognize that as the human closed in, taking a flailing tentacle in one hand and yanking hard while they stepped back. The darkner was sent airborne for only a moment before an elbow dropped them back to the ground with a resounding thud.

**It’s over.**

The hero’s mouth hung open, dry and tasting of iron. Quiet words passed their lips like spirits in the night. “Two… two more will come… Please, just. Treat them well, and… delay them.” Kris gripped at their right side, an eye squint shut in pain, and limped on. Their muscles burned and breath came in shudders, but none of that mattered, because they were still moving forward.

This wasn’t about anyone else any more--

**Liar.**

“And what would you know!?” Kris shouted, and their throat immediately regret it.

A moment passed. There was no one around. Who had they even responded to? Exhaustion had to be creeping up faster than they’d expected. They were already hearing things. They had to refocus. Recenter. 

At the end of the paths ahead would be a King. A tyrant. A terrible person they could throw every ounce of emotion and bile towards, and the people would look up to them as a Hero for it. Life was simple. There was no need to think about anything else. All they had to do was get there, and prove that they were the strongest. If they could just do that,- if they could just, for once, ever, be the best at something, even in a world that felt so meaningless and unreal, then maybe they’d be able to capture a _shred_ of the happiness and purpose everyone else seemed to feel every day.

As it stood, though, Kris wasn’t sure they’d even make half that distance without having to stop and let the others catch up. If they fell down now, it would be over. A decision had to be made. They could struggle, and fail eventually under their own power, or they could lean on this place.

 **It would be easy** , they knew. All they’d taken so far were pinches, little bits for little moments. By now, though, they’d have to take fist-fulls to keep going without help.

Would it be worth it?

And, would it even really still be their own accomplishment?

A hard tug came to Kris’ SOUL. It was a familiar feeling by now, and the more exhaustion crept in, the more often it seemed to come. It forced them to look up, out across the distance, and stare into the slowly changing colors of the inky pillar rocketing through the sky. Was the fountain trying to tell them something?

Unconsciously, a gloved hand clutched over their heart.

_Is that… me?_

The tie was inexorable. Impossible not to feel. Even when their eyes were closed, they felt the fountain pulsing right beside them. It was almost like, if they reached out and took enough, they’d find something beneath it all, buried in the strange substance. Whatever they were losing when they took more, could it really be so bad?

Could it be so bad, if **it’s on your side?**

Traveling would become easy, too. All they needed to do was take a little more…

 **Power.**  
_Power._

Something slipped away again. But it was fine. Whatever it was wasn’t important any more. The pain was gone, and they could walk easily again.

A tug came to their SOUL, and Kris answered.

There was a lot of ground to cover.

* * *

The world became something of a blur. Like their vision had become letterboxed. Everything was still there, just, farther. They were strong. Walking became sprinting. Hops became leaps. Time passed, and their fingers curled to fists, but it wasn’t them who did it any more.

Ahead were smears of color. Purple, black, and green.

Four damage. Eight. Twelve. Something _hurt_. Their chest stung. The ground was cold and the grass wet, but the pain wouldn’t stop them any more.

Nothing could.

Finally, they were going to make a difference. Finally, they would matter.

Finally, **we are going to be someone.**

_… We?_

**Focus.**

_… Right…_

Ahead was a wall. No, not a wall. A door. **Two doors.** Thick, heavy stone. It couldn’t possibly be moved alone.

**You can do this. When no one else will believe in you, _I_ will.**

The words felt inspiring. Kris pushed. They poured Power into making the enormous things move, but neither budged. They tried again, harder. Sweat formed, but it truly was impossible.

**What’s wrong, Hero? Take as much as you need.**

Kris swallowed dry air. Something was wrong. Those weren’t their thoughts.

For the first time in who knew how long, Kris hesitated.

Hands placed against the double doors, Kris looked down to see four silver threads wrapped around their SOUL. The threads stretched past the stone, they could feel, could somehow see, and carried far. The silver pierced the dark and drew a line straight to the Fountain itself. More words came from that voice that wasn’t theirs, but it was muffled beneath the sudden and thunderous return of their own heartbeat. They hadn’t even noticed it was missing. Across one of the strings came a familiar tug, but there was nothing to be done about it.

Then, Kris blinked, and the threads were gone.

Silence followed, and in staggered steps, the full spectrum of their feelings returned. The right side of their head was bruised, and dirty. Sweat drew lines across their still-stinging skin, and their clothes had been mattered by purple stains Kris hoped were only grass. The air tasted of grit and emptiness, throat still dry and tight. Suddenly, the pain in their abdomen intensified, and Kris looked down to see a dagger that had sunk inches in and never been removed.

Time passed strangely under that pain, so they couldn’t be sure how long it was before it felt like they could move again, but as soon as it did, they turned quickly and stumbled back against the hard stone doors. Moving a hand to feel the wound, Kris discovered that they’d somehow lost their gloves along the way.

The wind blew harsh. There were no tears. No laughter. Just them.

Kris sighed, and closed their eyes.

It was a lesson they couldn’t seem to learn. They were truly, ungodly, worthless.

If only their brother had never believed in them. If only their father ever stopped reaching out and trying to connect with something that wasn’t there. If only Noelle would stop saying nice things and always needing help. Maybe then, finally, their brain could stop finding reasons to barely scrape along, praying miserably every day for something to happen that would prove those good people right.

Kris wrapped a hand around the hilt of the dagger, and the pain almost forced them to release it instantly. None of those people were here now.

_Tomorrow…? A week? What does it matter?_

Kris’ breathing quickened, arm tense and tight. Moments that felt like minutes passed, teeth grinding against one another, until they could swear the handle would be crushed beneath the force of their grip before anything even happened.

Then, another tug came.

“What!?” Kris shouted miserably. It came out scratchy and high. “Why does anyone even _care_? There’s nothing here! Just an actor, pretending to even be alive!”

The tug came again.

“... Why?” Their grip came undone. The terribly shaky hand came to squeeze against their forehead, pushing back sweat-slick hair. “Why can’t I stop?” The tears chose now to come. “Why won’t anyone just… let me disappear?”

Kris looked back up to the empty sky, and worked on choking down steadily deeper breaths. This wasn’t like back in school, where they wondered who would find them first. They knew exactly who it would be. And a kid like Lancer didn’t deserve to see their mess just because they couldn’t wait another day.

“Ha… Ha…” The human braced, and prepared to push off the stone. “I can do this... “ Tiredness in every limb, they gave it their best effort, but concentration was a poor replacement for energy, and the human buckled forward, catching themselves on a knee and a palm.

_Can’t let anyone see me like this._

_ACT > Check > Kris._

**Kris. 6/70 HP. Stay safe.**

“Hah… Safe, huh?”

Kris contemplated their options, and arrived at a very uneasy conclusion.

_Well, as long as I’m not using it as a sword…_

The palm pressed to the ground raised and squeezed empty air, finding the all-too comfortable grip of cracked leather strips. Their old sparring sword plunged into the dirt and, with great effort, Kris rose again. Walking was much easier with a cane.

The next wall they could lean against wasn’t very far, and looked to be the puzzle they must have missed to open up the door. A clock-face was embedded in some weird, not-quite brick wall. Kris tapped against its face, but the puzzle quickly revealed itself to be something impossible for them to solve in their condition.

Luckily, the honking of a horn was becoming less distant by the second. Kris did their best to stand straight, and waited.

“H-Hey!” Lancer shouted, sliding into view. “I’m doing the best I can, but the purple girl is really--” And then his eyes adjusted to the sorry sight in front of him. “I’ll be right back!”

“No, wait, I--” But he was already pedalling away. There wasn’t any point in lying to the kid, so they weren’t going to say they were alright, but what could he possibly do about it? With surprising speed, the prince returned holding onto one of the dark, star-shaped things they’d seen in some of the trees and a Rudinn they didn’t recognize. 

Lancer moved closer and offered the star. “Uh, my dad says I can’t eat these, but, they’re supposed to help make you better!”

“... I see.” Kris managed to work out. _If it’s like monster food, am I supposed to pull the knife out first, or eat first? Damn, what did mom always say about this?_ “Hey, uh.” The human scratched at their throat. “Look away a minute.”

Thankfully, Lancer didn’t ask why, just gestured for the exasperated Rudinn to do the same. 

_Here goes nothing… Power!_

White light washed across the afflicted area as Kris pulled the dagger out as straight as they could. It helped to dull the pain, but it was still awful. The red that had been dripping slowly began to leak, but wasn’t spurting, which was good. Kris kept pressure on the wound with one hand and downed the apparently marshmallow-flavored star quickly using the other. It was disgustingly sweet, even for them, but it helped to loosen their throat and dissolved as quickly as monster food did, taking the wound down to nothing more than a particularly long cut. The bleeding stopped, but the hand still came away stained red, and the one leg of their underlay was pretty well ruined. Most of the bruises were gone, but some stinging remained.

_Better than dead…_

“Thanks.” Kris said. For some reason, they felt like clinging onto the sword a little longer. Lancer didn’t say anything. “... Oh. You can look now.”

He did. It wasn’t easy, being so obviously judged by a kid, even without eyes to stare them down. “Were you… fighting my guys?”

“It was necessary.” They were hoping to avoid this conversation.

“It was what?” Was he confused by the word or the idea? _Either way._

“Needed.” Kris frowned. “I had to get by, and didn’t want you or your people to do any less than their best to keep the Lightners back.” Eye contact became a little uncomfortable, but they believed the bluntness was also necessary. “If something went wrong, I didn’t want anyone to be sent to jail.”

Now it was Lancer’s turn to frown. He thought on that for a moment. “But, what if we just worked together instead?”

“I couldn’t do that to you.”

“But look what happened!” Lancer squinted. “If I was there, I could’ve told the guys not to hurt you!”

“It was important that you kept the others behind.” They couldn’t let the kid feel responsible for their own fucked-up head.

Lancer crossed his arms. “Are we friends or not?”

Kris was taken aback. “O-Of course!”

He harrumphed. “Well friends don’t let other friends hurt themselves, so from here on out you’re-- Uh. Gonna be my knight!” He raised a pointed finger. “Yeah! And that makes you part of our army and stuff! Then no one’s doing anything wrong by letting you pass.”

It was a touching gesture, and awfully clever of the young prince, but it was hard to accept. Not too long ago, under enough pain and stress, they were prepared to hurt his father just to prove something, the same way they’d been hurting everyone. “I… can’t--”

“Everyone needs help,” Lancer interrupted. “Even… even my dad.” The kid shrank a little, saying that. 

Kris looked down to the ‘cane’ they couldn’t seem to let go of. Maybe Lancer was right. Maybe everyone needed help sometimes. The idea rattled in their head. It felt harsh and loud and wrong somehow. It wasn’t an inherently hollow idea, but it brought bitterness all the same. Like if they believed in those words for even a moment, something in them would surely die. 

The human’s grip tightened. What were they trying to prove? And to who? To themselves? No one else could decide what was and wasn’t good enough for them. Was it wrong to accept a lesser result, even if it might make them happy? Or was that a betrayal of some kind-- To the years they’d suffered under misbegotten thoughts? Did they have to be better than everyone else to find happiness in their talent, or was it enough just to compete? To improve? Did they need a goal to be happy, or was it enough just to… live? Happiness had become a question, a set of boxes they couldn’t seem to check. When everyone was still together and life was simple, it had never been an issue. But now it all felt so far away.

“Uh, Kris?” Lancer’s worried voice broke through their thoughts.

_… Right._

Kris sighed, eyes downcast. Whatever the solution, it didn’t seem right to continue using others as a means to that end. Pain for no answers was no way for a Hero to operate. They managed a smile for the young prince. “I agree.” And kneeled, hands wrapped over another atop the hilt of their blade. “I will be your knight.”

“Really?” Lancer gasped. “I mean, of course!” He grinned wide. “We’re gonna be great together!”

“I’m sure we will.” Kris said, rising. “Let’s start by working through this puzzle.”

“Oh, this one’s simple.” And it was. Lancer’s explanation was short and mostly self-explanatory. He was thinking ahead when he brought the other Rudinn, who seemed to sag when made to run, but obeyed anyways, quickly disappearing when the puzzle was over. The massive stone doors didn’t make as much noise when sliding open as Kris expected them to, but they supposed it didn’t really matter. 

Beyond was more grass, more trees, and seemingly stitched against the darkness, a smattering of tan tarps and fabrics sewn together with painted print that read “Shop”. At the fork in the road, Kris glanced both ways and noticed an unshaven jigsaw-shaped darkner in a bowler hat scurry away. Whether at the sight of themselves or the prince they couldn’t be sure, but Lancer didn’t even react, so it probably wasn’t worth worrying about.

“Can we visit the shop?” Kris asked. Just about anything it might sell, clothes, food, drinks, would be useful.

“I guess so.” Lancer got off his bike. “But we oughta make it fast. The purple girl’s really eager to catch up with you.”

Kris thought a moment. “Is she mad?”

Lancer shrugged. “I think she’s happy.”

Then they’d done the right thing. 

Kris made a ‘hmm’ noise, then pushed past a series of hanging fabrics, parting their way into a lantern-lit store whose size was ill-conveyed by its humble exterior. The wares were cast in a glower of orange, open flames in lanterns held firm above by long, criss-crossing black ropes. A few steps in, past a long tiered shelf display, the likely owner perked up, resting on a stool. They were a raggedy looking thing, like a stuffed cat toy that might’ve even had better days once. Stitches were set across a few gaps and openings on the right side of their face, one dark eye replaced by a large button. A small creaking noise came as the darkner dismounted the stool, and rose to about Susie’s height.

“Welcome, traveler.” The shopkeep’s voice was deep and rumbly, and Kris could see now that the cloak they wore was just as patchy and old as the darkner themself. Both turned when Lancer finally worked his way through the entrance. “Ah, and the little prince as well. Welcome.”

“Uh.” Lancer looked the shopkeep up and down before his face squished. “Do I know you?”

“I suppose it’s not hard to believe you’d forget me.” The shopkeep smiled. “Name’s Seam. Pronounced ‘Shawm’. And this is my little ‘Seap’. Hahaha.” The kid laughed. “Glad to see you can still laugh.”

Kris invited themselves to look around while the two carried on. Everything seemed sorted by whatever best fit the space, with little regard for what was what. Tinctures, baubles, containers, tools, weapons. There was a little bit of everything, and it was a little bit of everywhere. Seam continued. There would be plenty of time to listen.

“I was the court mage once, a long time ago.” The elder’s smile, previously only pleasant, became something fond. “It was my job to _amaze_ you and your father. And, the rest of the royalty, too. Your father would always get so irate if I failed to impress, but my… colleague, was quite the ringer. You were very small then...”

“Cool!” Lancer said, grinning. “Can you do a trick for me now?”

Seam seemed to think about that for a while. “Well, just one won’t hurt.”

“Yeah!!” Lancer cheered. It was good to hear him so excited.

Kris turned their attention to a long, dusty box hidden away in the far corner, beneath some stuffed toys and a few smaller boxes. Everything else in the store was deceptively well kept, so it surprised them to see something so untouched. It was enough to make them wonder if monster and darkner traditions were the same, regarding Dust, but as they shifted to let a little more light fall on the particulate, it was revealed to not shine the way Dust did. _Safe to touch._

“-- And there, from behind your ear, is the coin.” Seam announced.

“Woahh! I didn’t even know I _had_ ears!” 

Kris snickered, then gently flipped the lid off. Inside was a tightly folded set of clothes, a long-sleeve shirt, and a pair of dress slacks. Either monetarily or through sentiment, the clothes were obviously valuable, so Kris was careful to investigate using only their clean hand. The shirt was a few shades lighter than their underlay, with white, snap-shut buttons that folded over to the opposite breast. Its collar rode high, and was stiff. The slacks were black, with a pocket on either side, and a length of chain with nothing attached dangled from one of them. Comparing an arm against their own, the clothes were one, maybe two sizes bigger than them at most.

“Elder Seam.” Kris called quietly.

“Elder?” The shopkeep chuckled. “Do I look that old to you?” Their smile was wry, and it was obvious spending time with the prince again had done them good. Lancer had moved on to trying on glasses and chortling at their reflection in all the weirdly shaped beakers and flasks.

“Is this for sale?” The human backed away, making room. Seam slowly stepped closer, remaining eye widening as they took the shirt into a paw. It dangled and unfolded, now obviously much too small for the darkner.

“My old magician’s outfit…” They flipped it back and forth. “There’s a- a pocket inside the sleeves for cards, and, that chain there is a trick chain, its last loop actually breaks away. Ha... It’s been so many years…” Seam gingerly folded it again, staring down a moment before looking over their sorry state and laughing quietly. “You… want to buy this, then?”

Kris nodded. “I do.”

Seam’s pauses became careful. “You’re… going to see the king soon?”

“I am.”

“Well… I suppose it doesn’t really matter then, does it?” The shopkeep waved a hand. “Take it.”

 _Just like that?_ “It’s important to you, though, isn’t it?”

Seam gave a tired smile. “Everything in this store, I’ve got no attachment to. This is… just a hobby of mine.” They gestured to the rest. “Whatever happens to any of this… Makes no difference to me. It won’t matter for much longer anyways.”

The former magician made them curious, but Kris had no desire to make things unpleasant. “Thank you. Is there… a place to change?”

“Just use the backroom.” Seam made their way over to Lancer. “You like those, little man?”

Lancer turned, showing off a combination of groucho glasses and a couple pairs of shades. “Yeah!”

Kris chuckled, and parted the curtains leading to the ‘backroom’. It was small, and had little more than a bed, a chair, and a night-stand with a lamp. The bed was strangely ritzy and comfortable compared to the rest of the decor. The human settled in, and set to work.

Most of the blood came away after some effort, but the scraps of cape they’d used as wristbands were ruined in the process. The outfit was made for someone maybe two sizes higher, but after tucking in the shirt and fastening a belt, it didn’t really make any difference. If anything, it just allowed their arms to move more freely. The unruined scrap they’d used as a neckerchief became a tattered ribbon, helping to tie back their bangs and making a short pony-tail. When testing the pockets of the coat, Kris found they were strangely spacious, and after digging, felt something already there. It was a pair of white showman’s gloves, which they easily pulled on. _‘Like a glove.’ Ha._

Kris sat back, breastplate in hand, and stared at their reflection.

It was the strangest thing.

They were smiling.

Something about even just thinking about the possibility that something less than their absolute best might be enough to make them happy felt positively liberating. Kris stared into their eyes, and drank deep from the thoughts that came. _Inadequacy. Misunderstanding. Malcontent. Hate. But, how much does what anyone else has to say_ really _matter?_

When the day was over and everyone had said their piece. When they’d laid thoughts bare, about how much they really mattered to one another. When the night was long and Asriel’s stars still glowed. In the end…

_It’s only me._

Kris donned the plate, and stepped outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lancer's a good kid, and Seam is cool. Next chapter, everyone comes together.
> 
> We've hit the upswing, folks. Thank you for sticking with it.


End file.
